December 21, 2009
I could see all those buds waiting to blossom
the smell of the new season and air of warmth
Hurting my hands I felt your fingers moving away
I tried to wake up from the dream to stop you
You walked away faster than my heart beats
Hurting my eyes,I woke up to stop you
I see the remains of the fall.
My steps retracing those sand writings
I smiled to myself trying to wash it away with my tears
December 6, 2009
Gulf!Where the dreams come true...
Today I see how certain dreams come true.Here in this part of the world everybody has a story to tell.Why they are here!There is only one thing common to all those people who come here.Some day or the other they all want to go back home..
Its just been a few weeks here.But I realized I am blessed to be sitting in a bed under a roof with a laptop in front of me.I have no idea if my writing would help those people to understand the plight of thousands of people in this part of the world who work day and night for a living.Buses with these laborers with their heads down is a common sight here.I wonder what gives them the strength to survive in this scorching heat and those pathetic labor camps?I wonder if their dear ones back home can ever give them the true appreciation..
To be Continued
November 4, 2009
1.Exam time :We used to have half day exams thrice a year.I loved exam time as I could be back home for lunch and watch all the TV Programs which I used to miss otherwise.During exams we never carry our backpacks,it was always those big 'textile plastic covers' to carry the pencil box and the writing pad.I used to keep the good ones under the bed exclusively for exam time.We used to compare the covers in class and always wanted our cover to look the best :).I still remember the time I got the 'paper bag' for the first time.I saved it for the annual exam and made sure it was safe and away from the hands of my mother.
2.Name slip.I was crazy about nameslips.Before the school starts it was a custom that me and my amma sit together and cover all the notebooks and textbooks with the plastic coated brown covers.I used to adore the special white colored ones my classmates used to bring which was available only abroad.Nameslip was a status symbol too.I never used to stick those nameslips you get for free from shops,But always wanted the glitter cartoon ones.I still remember me telling someone that my biggest wish in my life is to get 1000 nameslips from God.
3.Lunch time.I was/still a slow eater.There were only a few dayscholars in our class.But we all used to sit together and discuss everything for lunch.We always waited to see what was inside our friend's lunch box.Then comes the sharing part.I miss those lunch sessions when we could take anything from anybody's lunchbox which tastes 1000 times better than what was in our lunch box.
Lot more to write,But I guess space is not enough.In a nutshell I miss my school days.Innocent days,innocent dreams and innocent minds.Wish I never grew up :)
October 8, 2009
October 1, 2009
I tried to wake up my dream
my crippled eyes kept me in darkness
I cried aloud to wake you up
I heard your footsteps walking away
My words cease to make you smile
tears could wash away my mistakes
Rhythm hugging my passion
Can you stop to listen to my words?
Embrace it when you miss your steps
turn around to see me waiting;
Colors fade to bring the new sky
I see you in those buds to blossom
Holding back everything I owe you
I express in my silence and my blind dreams
A true victim of recession.Sigh!I hate to admit that.But I still wonder why ME?I am sick of all the motivating and optimistic and spiritual lectures I get to hear everyday.But I frankly regret to have done so well in my studies since school.Inspite of reading biographies of people who did a lot of hardwork to make it big,I really dont know why I still have a lot of expectations about my career.I find it hard to compromise.I know this is a bad time to be choosy,But today I feel even if I give away my dreams and ambitions,its hard for me to find a job.
I had a terrible experience when I decided to try my hand in teaching.I thought it would be a good idea to go teach in an Engineering college rather than sitting at home and wait for the 'VISA' which seems to be a illusion! On my first day to college,I was shocked to see the number of private engineering college buses in the stand.Students dressed in uniforms,It was hard for me to comprehend the fact that they were engineering students.Engineering has just become an extension of 12 std.The college was no different from a school.I felt bad about myself coming back to such an environment.But I used to love teaching and I felt it was a good service.But unfortunately the class turned out to be another shock.It was hard to believe they cleared the entrance examination because most of them didnt know even the basic geometry.But the worst part was the attitude of the students.Students behaved to me as if I am some random girl they met in some park .Forget about showing a little respect,they were throwing offensive words on me.My pride just couldn't let me continue there.I found it funny when they asked me'Teacher,Why did you come to teach in a college like this even after doing your MS from US,Didnt you get any other job'.I was heartbroken.I realized how much ever we try for certain things,most of the things are out of our control.
I wish I had lesser pride,lesser expectations out of life.But sometime I think ;Have I not sacrificed enough to have to have little happiness or rather not to be in an 'unhappy' state?
August 26, 2009
Not that I am a travel freak. Traveling and sightseeing were never in my list of hobbies.But I always knew I wanted to see and feel ‘Life patterns’.See as many people I can and feel how is to be a different soul groomed and bred in a different corner of the world.When I travel it’s not the scenic beauty that captures my attention,its always the people.I remember my Amma telling others that how her daughter can never enjoy the nature or rather love the nature. :)
One day I was showing an American friend of mine a few pictures of my visits in US.I had a little pride in my words as I was lucky enough to visit a lot of famous tourist destinations in US.My snaps also had this pic of me in front of the statue of liberty.I was telling her how happy I was to be near one of the wonders of the world.But her next question shut my mouth completely.She asked me for the picture at Taj Mahal.That question made me think.Rather than exploring foreign land,Should I not see my Mother India and her wonderful diversity?
For me North Indians and North India was all to do with rich sarees, ornaments and rich food. Thanks to Ekta Kapoor serials.I was so excited when two of my friends agreed to accompany me toexplore those places I marked on the Map for my History and Geography classes.
Thanks to Bollywood,for some reason I was feeling so filmy sitting in the Taxi on our way to my friend’s place from Delhi Airport.I wanted to sing aloud ‘Masarkali Masarkali’.But thought it would be a little too much drama and excitement.But I felt kinda patriotic for some reason.Must be the fact that I was finally at the Capital of the country.The fun part was that right from the airport everybody expects you to be fluent in your National tongue.To brush our hindi skills me and Anna (My friend) started counting ‘ek do teen..’ after 29there was a gradual decline in the pace of our recitation. I knew the driver was amused.Our Delhi friend (DKP) tried her level best to shut our mouths to save herself from the embarrassment. Two years has changed her Hindi.I still remember teasing her in College about her handicapped Hindi.Sigh!We quickly brushed p our gender issues and article and other grammatical issues and finally settled for a ‘hum hein haim’ end for all the sentences.
The first thing I learnt after stepping outside Kerala was to bargain for everything.It was disheartening to see the autorickshaw drivers looting the public.Thanks to those few days in Chennai before our delhi trip.:)Our first mission was to to explore the shopping streets of Delhi.Yes I know what you must be thinking.Girls and shopping are inseperable. But behind my shopping mission I also had to do justice to my appetite craving for those typical northie specialities.The scary jaundice experiences of both of my friends couldn’t stop me from those bhaji and puri walas.It was a bliss!I felt excited. At the same time I couldn’t ignore a lot of things in those streets.Small kids hardly 10 year old as hawkers in streets selling stuff and begging the tourists.A small change in our fate,We might have been one of them.Even if they have dreams,only miracles might help them conquer what we are all blessed with.It was a thrilling experience to bargain.We struggled in our crippled hindi for even 2 digit bargaining, but then we learnt a lot of tricks which made us save a few hundreds J.Thanks to our frequent’Kam karona bhayya’ and those dramatic ‘walk outs’.It was quiet adventurous!!! ;).
August 13, 2009
July 8, 2009
the echoes made my heart weaker
I stood with your shadow in that dark road
you failed to hold my hands to that star
I could see it shine on my tear drop
Shine on my fate!
My next step will take away your shine.
Could you walk over to me for a day?
I promise to seal you in my breath cloud.
Wish you could replace the shadow
I need you,a real you..
Never will you dry in my arms
The rhythm of my faith will keep you alive
I wish for you today,my lips fails to call out your name.
July 5, 2009
But its fun to observe people,see the variety in them.Studying different characters and the way they analyse stuff itself is pretty interesting.People find it hard to accept anything straight.They always try to find the other side.People don't even let others die in peace.Even for normal death,they try to find something abnormal.Human psychology is lot related to their community and also family background.
Recently a relative of mine asked me about my boyfriend.I told her,Unfortunately I dont have one.But she couldn't belive,she was trying to convince me that I do have one and out of fear I am not admitting.It was funny that for most of people here,if you have been aborad you should have someone..:P
So for all those who are planning to be here for vacations,make sure you are herfe with some spicy stories for some people eagerly waiting for u ;)
Matrimonial hunt is on full swing.Thanks to the astrologer who claims I will marry only after 2 years and that too to someone I will find myself.I couldnt stop laughing when he told me that.I felt bad for my family who thought ,they will somehow get me engaged before I go back..
I couldnt stop myself from asking the details of the guy,he kinda sensed that I was mocking the so called science,But then I would rather want to know thw depth of the river before I would start swimming..I wonder why people dont drag these guys to family courts when they file divorce..
I prefer to get a declaration from them before they announce my horoscope match with some 10 stars with someone else's...But for them,there is one major clause..Its all your fate!!!
June 16, 2009
May 21, 2009
As per the media she commited suicide because she was asked to repeat a lab experiment by a cruel(again as per the media) professor.I agree that it is a bit disheartening for any student to repeat or fail in an academic test.But I really dont want to blame the teacher here.Even if she was a bit hard on her or must have raised her voice against this girl,Do you think its a strong reason for somebody to suicide??
Atleast in our country we have been trianed in schools and collges to respect our teachers,obey them and to an extend accept their punishments.Even at homes our parents raise their voice if they think we are not in the right path.But not everyday do we think about ending our lives.
I strongly feel that the younger generation is becoming very sensitive.They cant even accept slightest hardships in life.The moment they feel that the life is not moving as desired,they justt want to escape forver.There is no question of fighting against it or even about having a bit of perseverence.For this generation escapism is the only solution.
I strongly feel that, before we blame the faculy for that girl's death,we should think again if a punishment is a crime in our education system.All of us, at some point in our life has been punished by our teachers.Personaly I still respect and value those teachers who punished me in school.This girl's suicide might be an isolated case.Her loss is a torture for her dear ones.But the next generation should learn not to blame the system,but to ask themselves if they have the will power to move on.I feel children should be trained at both home and school to face certain hiccups in life.many of us fail to acknowledge that life is a rollercoaster ride.We are failing to explore that inner strength in us and to accept that life is not a fairy tale with a 'happily ever after'.
May 12, 2009
As I approached the asian subcontinent I could feel the difference.The courtesy,the manners,cleanliness everything declined.But for a person who grew up here,it might not be a big deal.But I realised there are a lot of things we should adopt from the western culture not blindly their fashion.It was hilarious when I saw how our people were pushing and pulling to get into the gate at the airport, like they do in the buses here.Forget abt apologizing for hurting you,I even heard people swearing at each other as if the seats might be filled if they dont get inside the flight at the earliest :)
During my transit at Kuwait airport ,we had a proper Swine flu screening with medical attendants testing temperatures of every passenger.But the irony was at the TVM airport when I saw this huge crowd before the immigration counter.There was this one doc and around 100 passengers crowded around him.He was distributing a paper which was a questionnaire which apparently would help them to understand if we have swine flu.In my opinionIt was the lamest way of screening .All that we need to do was just sign a declaration that we dont have fever,cough or cold.When he saw that I was coming from US,he asked me Bhadra,Do you have cough or cold?Duh!!I would do anything anything to get away from that crowd coz if I had to stay there in the mess for a few more minutes I would definitely have some weird flu soon.
Had a lot to write,But I think I should wrap up..Jet lagged!!Yaaawn!
April 27, 2009
March 25, 2009
March 9, 2009
February 26, 2009
February 14, 2009
February 3, 2009
January 29, 2009
January 24, 2009
January 12, 2009
You're all thats real to me
You are the magic in the world i see
You are in the prayer i saying
You are in my two my names
You are the faith that make me belive
Dreams on fire
Higher n higher
Ride on the path
Once for forever yours
All your heart
Dreams on fire
Higher n higher
You are my ocean rage
You are my thought each day
you are the laughter from childhood games
You are things further down
You are where i belong
You are make me feel in every songs
Dreams on fire
Higher n higher
Ride on the path
Once for forever yours
All your heart
Dreams on fire
Higher n higher