Power of being a Woman

I  always underestimated my powers.Right from childhood,I just wished hard I was a boy not a girl.I was not very friendly with the male community and I remember having lot of fights with my boy classmates just because I always thought that the entire male community was so arrogant and spiteful.Thanks to my father who left me at the age of 6 in pursuit of independence.
I don't call myself a Feminist,because I never believed in the 'feminine' self of mine,but right from childhood I was curious about the injustice by nature and society on the female community.When I was in 3 grade,I remember asking my History teacher why we always learnt about 'early men' and not about 'early woman' in textbooks.
As I grew up,I began to realize my boundaries,my constraints and my limited physical strength.I used to curse being a woman during the celebration of womanhood and still consider the monthly painful torture to be a very prejudiced selection by Mother Nature.I never enjoyed dressing up,trying to look beautiful rather always had an inferiority complex of being an average looking petite being. But then beauty is not what I could tune into my strength.My versatility in conversation skills,my ability to connect with people made me happy.I enjoyed the people near me.I enjoyed being in company and talk endlessly on anything under sun.Conversations,friendships,sharing life stories,traveling,tasting cuisines and above all trying to start a conversation with any person I meet gave me a lot of Power.A power to understand me,my threshold and above all the versatility I had.I owe most of it to my womanhood,my genes and the so called tiny little things in my brain which now makes me a proud woman.
After a Gap of 20 years I started living with a man under the same roof.Contrary to my imaginations and the advice from experienced hands,the transition from an independent career oriented girl to a home maker was easy.Thanks to my laziness I could easily blend in and start enjoying the fact that I could get to sleep for another 2 hours after my husband leaves for work.
I am someone who hates to sit idle,not even enjoy reading books for a long time.I get suffocated seeing the echoing walls around me from morning till evening laughing at my misery of stuck at home cooking and cleaning,But I should say the womanhood is really powerful,After the initial panic attacks you tend to learn to keep yourself happy.You walk around and find stuff to do,You look at yourself and feel content for nothing at all.You learn to be happy on the success of your partner though you might be really jealous at your unmarried friend who is having a good career.You tend to take the power of the house,make yourself believe you are going to take the lead in this family.You take care of your husband and his family with a belief you are the bond that keeps it strong.When you see your husband addicted to laptop and movies you shout at him for no reason trying to make him realize the sacrifices you did or you are doing adapting to the new environment.You are the one who remembers stuff,co-ordinates things,assures the loved one,welcoming and hosting loved ones with a smile and above all believes that whatever hardships you bear is just those tiny bumps on the long smooth road to happiness and being content.My Best friend left her job to takecare of her baby just because,she doesnt want to miss watching her angel grow up.
Tomorrow I might be having a very busy career,But I am sure the woman in me would balance the homemaker and the career with right blend of confidence and power that I will always be proud of myself.But like the saying I always believed 'Strength is a virtue always admired,never desired' .


NB: For those of my readers who might think I am happy with being a homemaker,You are wrong,I am so desperate to start working :D

Story Teller

Ever since I could trace back my memories,one distinct thing I could remember about myself was that I was a 'Story Teller'.I could have any number of people around me and take them to a world of fantasies and curiosity with the way I talked.My teachers thought I was an expressive kid and took me to all those Story telling competitions where I failed miserably.Don't assume it was my stage fear,But I could never repeat a story which was taught to me as I always found happiness in making up a new story on the spot.I still remember the looks on the faces of my teachers when I come down the stage disappointing their hardship of teaching me a good story.That was me.A spontaneous,outspoken, talkative and to sum it up a tiny little story teller who could go on and on about places which she never had even seen on TV.
Little funny stories grew serious,life unfolded every day with a total surprise almost everyday.I started to watch interesting stories,characters,climaxes all around me.I don't claim to have experienced the so called roller coaster hardships or dramatic thrillers,but nevertheless I tried to see each episode of my life as an interesting story I could narrate and relate to people around me.I started writing down a few thoughts about how my brain responded to these stories life .Years passed,I still had a stock of stories,unlike the past the curious twinkle on their eyes turned to clouded tear drops,But I continues my stories with the same smile on my face.I don't know what my passion is.I don't know if I could pen down all that which has been burning inside those smiles.But I would want to be a story teller to someone or anyone who could give me back a curious eyes of suspense :)

Making of a 'Home Maker'

Just like someone said before,our whole life is like a KSRTC Bus Journey.(For those not familiar with what a KSRTC bus is,it is the official bus transportation system in Kerala,very often referred to rickety bus rides and slow movements,should admit the new generation ones are really admirable).Mostly we start the journey standing near the driver's seat clinging on to all that we get hold of and eventually you wait for someone to make an exit and rush to get hold of the seat and have a narrow miss and still stand looking at the missed opportunity and looking around who makes the next exit.Then finally you get a seat and you breathe and look outside to get a glimpse of the true life moving around.There comes a signal,where all those on travel are on a standstill at the crossroads.You see one lane moving towards the green,with a a sarcastic smile on their faces saying 'We won the race',little do they know there is another red signal waiting for them on the route.
I loved those private moments I get on my way to and back from work,watching the traffic,watching almost the same set of people and interesting incidents and much more of a busy city life,where everyone is rushing to make a living.Luxury at its best with the world's best cars,infrastructure and much more.Not to forget those tired sleepy laborers who are stacked like consumables in supermarket sandwiched in hardwork,misery and dreams of making a living for their family back home.
I miss all that what I had,though I used to complain about my solitude,my hatred to come back after work to a closed room and feel the company of someone through skype,But today sitting in a house all alone myself in my new role as 'Housewife' I hate to admit,I miss my job,the job I hated so much,the place I felt made me a stereotype.
Today I feel like someone watching out to see everyone else in the signal gets to go and my lane seems to be in a blockage,I admit I should enjoy this very moment about being with my husband and enjoy my hidden passion for cooking,But I at times cant stop thinking about when I will restart my career,thanks to US rules on work authorization for spouses,I have little hope on going back to work in another one year.
But I guess everyone has their share of stories to say,some left their jobs to join their husbands,some to take care of their parents,and some to look after their children.
Well guess I might start this lethargy pretty soon,getting up late,no deadlines to meet,cooking innovative dishes,checking facebook and mails anytime of the day,never missing an afternoon nap,cribbing to husband of all that you could do if you had a job,trying to find dust at some corer of the room,so you could add it to the list of 'things to do' today.May be this is my golden period,I should not miss enjoying everybit,but to this generation girls who have been brought up to become a smart career women and mebbe never ever mentioned to her about becoming a smart home maker ( exceptions were there) it takes sometime to take the plunge.
But as long as I deaf my ears to those questions from the caretakers and wellwishers about my future plans and how i spend time at home,I guess I am Good!

List Goes On...

I was wondering how different my childhood would have been I was born in this century.All of us have beautiful memories and treasured moments which we wish to relive again. I would like to list a few things I truly regard as special and could recollect as the fondest memories of my childhood
• Sip Ups-The flavored iced delicacy in a plastic tube which used to cost 25 paisa. My amma used to discourage having it saying it’s made of drainage water , But still I would yearn for one especially after the March Annual exams, while walking back home in the hot sun holding your clip board and pencil case in a plastic textile cover.
• Sunday Programs in Doordarshan-Chandrakantha-The character that comes to my mind is ‘Kroor Singh’. Duck Tales used to be my all time favorite. I can still sing the theme song. The Chitrahaar which was eagerly awaited every week for the latest bollywood songs.
• 4:30-6:30 play time.6:30 used to be the most difficult time for the kids when they know they have to go back home now. Irrespective of exams or projects most of us enjoyed 2 hours of rolling in the sand and making our own innovative games, Climbing tress plucking mangoes, watchman running behind the kids, cycle race and the list goes on.
• ‘Free’. those Free things we get with Boost/Complan especially the stickers of sportsmen or the Frisbee or the cards. I used to eagerly wait for Balarama’s festival editions where I would get a sticker free which I would stick in my door adding to the collection,not to mention Mayavi’s adventures.
• Sending answers to Surabhi Program in TV. I have no clue how many postcards I have sent to them expecting my name to be announced.
• Train Journeys and enjoying the hot snacks especially the cutlets and vadas served from Indian Railway Pantry
• Occasional hotel food. I still remember how hard it was for me to get a parcel of Parotta Chicken from nearby canteen. Only if I had a 95 plus in all subjects I would have the privilege of tasting some hotel food which then was a taste I would die for.
• Chocolates and Stationeries from abroad. The Mars,the Twix and those special colored erasers and pencil sharpeners which had that ‘Foreign smell’ in the Lulu packets.
I might just go on.I am sure you guys have loads to add to this list 

Safety Pongala..

Logging into Facebook /Twitter has become the most convenient thing to get hold of the latest news. Unlike the past religious festivals are also being discussed promoted and covered in these sites. I was well aware of the famous ‘Attukal Pongala’ festival from indirect and direct mentioning from my close social circuit. Anyways, I couldn’t resist myself from ignoring the pictures and the media reports on the same. I decided to google if anybody has ever written on the dark side of this ‘Mega Event’ nor about the real safety measures needed to accommodate this crowd. Let me just make sure that I am a Devotee and has absolutely nothing against the religious beliefs of the 3.5 million women who participated in this or those million women across the globe who missed performing this.
I have lost someone who was very dear to me performing this so called ‘Food Offering to Goddess’.Its been almost 6 years and I still don’t understand the logic/or call it the bad luck when that person has been chosen among the 3 million to undergo a painful death or rather to put in the crude way,to offer herself to god by accident. Even 6 years back there were plenty of security measures, volunteers, ambulances and what not. I don’t know if the readers will blame it on the carelessness of the casualty, But I can bet that in a place like Kerala it is indeed a very difficult task to save someone’s life by swift paramedical care.I have been told that it took almost 1.5 hours to cover a mere 4 km in the state of emergency. Do they have a safety policy?Have they done the necessary studies?Are all these people educated about the safety precautions?I doubt whther this is all feasible in God’s own Country where 100% literacy come as a trademark.
I have investigated a bit on such untold stories(not in the Media )about precious lives lost in this much hyped and holy festival. Many lives, Families curse their ill luck or even believe as the Goddess’s early call to attaining moksha.
But the truth is that we people have to think if our society or our governing bodies are equipped with all that is needed to host the 3.5 million women. Mebbe I am biased in my judgement, but I have heard many personal stories who were deprived trauma care and are still leading a painful life. I couldn’t read of any story or a reporter mentioning about those who stopped living after this. I still believe if you believe in your faith, why don’t you do at your home in your own safety?

Gulf Diaries-Part 1

Many of us live inside a well protected cocoon. We live a mechanical life, making sure the shell around us doesn’t break off and we adapt ourselves to the habitat in the best possible manner. But many a times I feel variety is the essence of life. We meet a lot of new faces in the path of life,we interact ,we learn and we move with them making us feel they are indeed those characters meant to come and act and make our story the most interesting one.
When I came to Abu Dhabi the only arabic I could talk was 'Aslam alaykum' but now I realise if I couldnt speak Malayalam I would have been in trouble
Abu Dhabi has been a lucky place for me so far. I have made some beautiful decisions and luck did favor me. Career wise I might not have improved or learnt much in the span of 2 years, But I should say I did surpass the learning curve quiet well with need of the hour.
More than anything I am happy I spent few years in the ‘Gulf’ which has taught me a lot about the culture of both the residents and expats here. It was indeed an experience to live alone and still make yourself feel that you are just one among thousands of people staying alone earning a living. Minting money is what people associate the Gulf NRIs. Unlike the NRIs settled in North America and Europe you find that an ordinary person without much education is building a palace in his hometown. Many of the Indian expats here believe that their sole purpose in life is building a colossal bungalow back in their hometown. You see almost all the money exchanges are crowded almost any time of the month. I wonder is it just because the banks here don’t offer an interest rate or is it because people here indeed have surplus money to send home?
People here are like a group of people who happen to jump out of the time machine running in their home and happen to join the time machine only at their so called and much precious Annual vacations. Those with families here nurture their children with all that they can and pamper then with all the electronic gadgets and give them the international education thinking they would stand out in the crowd. But it is quiet disheartening to see that children here are brought up feeding in the junk and is spoilt to an extend that they are not even self sufficient. Most parents here I have seen even drop their children to their schools, tuition classes and other extracurricular classes when those are places which the boy/girl can just walk in 10 min. Today they have cell phones and what not for communication, but 20 years back when nothing was there, I used to walk to my school which was almost 2km from my home. I want to believe things are still the same in India. We used to go to shops to get things for our mothers, used to do little bit of household stuff, used to wash cars. But surprisingly I don’t see the kids here do anything at all.By merely taking them to music classes and karate classes are we doing justice to their growth.?Should we blame the technology, parents or this generation? Or is the fact that the world is not safe anymore to leave 10 year old boy/girl at home alone. Taking them to public speaking classes wont do much when they have to learn social interactions sparing their play station games.
Unlike other countries, I feel that the women especially Indians don’t prefer to work here. Many doctors, engineers and other professionals are merely being home makers. I find it very hard to accept that after working hard and spending some good years in professional course many ladies are merely concentrating on teaching their kids and doing projects and homework on their behalf.When it is exam time it is the moms who are worried and tensed, not the kids. The projects are done by the mothers and they compete with other moms. It seems event the schools know that these projects are done by parents. I am not debating on the decision for ladies to stay back and look after their kids, but I wonder at the end of the day, do we really feel satisfied doing the household?

To be Continued

Rat Race

I still remember the 'Mourning' we had at home when my entrance result came out.My amma was expecting her daughter to get hold of a two digit rank,but unfortunately she ended up in a 3 digit rank.A rank less than 500 was considered to be above average for most except for some academicians who eat sleep and live 'Engineering'.Being a daughter of a Professor of a reputed Institute was indeed taxing.Though my amma used to talk about non engineering careers,I am pretty sure she wouldnt have been happy if her daughter had chosen another profession.Succumbing to my deep attachment to my amma and my home,I decided to chose a branch which was considered not so 'attractive' in one of the premier Institutes of the country when i had the option of getting a circuit branch in the best state engineering college.I dont know if I took a bad decision at 18 years of age seeing the hype of college ranking and brand value.But it seemed to be a bad decision on monetory terms when you are one of the top rankers but you dont get high paying jobs like the other circuit branches.I was quiet disapointed when I see the entire strength in so called circuit branches sweeped by MNC offering hefty packages which you cant dream in your branch(I guess I should admit that the non attractive branch is Civil Engineering)
After deciding to do my masters in a reputed University abroad I didnt have much luck with a job,Thanks to Recession of 2008.Inspite of many advising me to take up a job in IT,I was not ready to leave my 6 years of education.Finally I ended up in a corner of the earht where the 'not so attractive branch' is the most attractive branch.I see circuit branch people struggling to find a decent job in Middle East.But then it puts me to thought.Doest all the rat race in the entrance really matter in life?Mebbe taking up a circuit branch would have been a better decision.It might be a idiotic conclusion.But one sure bet for those who do not have an aversion for IT can easily get a IT from any college,join a MNC see the world in somebody else's expense.
But if we had a little more discretion about the what to chose as a career,I would have been happily blaming myself for the career path.But then back then it was the peer pressure.I am sure atleast the present generation should be free from the entrance mad race.Be what you will be Proud of.Choose a profession which is equivalent to your passion.I hope when I become a parent I dont get carried away by the social trends..After almost 10 years of writing entrance I feel that the tension,the stress and the pressure was all for some kind of a oasis which kept moving away from you..There was a hope in our young minds that once you clear the 'Entrance' you can live happily ever after.But then it is just an 'EXIT' from all the secured and tension free life under your parents.The real Rat race is yet to begin.