January 26, 2008

Love- Part 2

In my previous post about love I mentioned that my undergrad degree helped me make a thesis on different categories or ways of falling in love.After coming here for my Masters I decided to research on ways of breaking up with your dear ones as that is what is very common amongst the Indian community here.'Love' and 'Relationship Analysis' has always been one of my favourite topics to research on,wish Texas A&M University hires me as a Research Assistant in their Public Affairs department after my posts on Love and related matters.There are again 4 ways of breaking up with your sweetheart!! In fact four different ways of telling the other person BUZZ off.Lets avoid after marriage talks and stick on the normal romantic affairs and the after effects.Here are my 4 theories.
1.Long Distance Relationships:Love has no distances some say.May be true,b ut after getting used to the free Airtel-Airtel calls in India,there is high probability of breaking up if one goes abroad and switches to Reliance India Calling card.With the initial hype and care about your loved ones in India ,there is a general trend of breaking up after getting AT&T connection.Initial days of frustration,loneliness,assistantship hunts,for people who have been in a relationship find it hard to get out of the whole thing by making regular calls to India and there you look at your credit card balance and realise 'wish my sweetheart had an AT&T connection' and then u turn back and see somebody patting on your shoulder and yea you have somebody close to you,who can understand u better and who is gonna have an H1 soon and wow he/she has AT&T..Lots of freedom,no worries that anybody is gonna find out,so yes I broke up with her/him..Coz long distances never work out..:P
2.Girls..sheesh,guys complain that they are emotional and they want early commitment,they talk about marriage and engagement.Commitment Phobia.Cmon, guys need time..Marriage and family are secondary..This is the problem if you fall love for a guy of your age...Trust my thesis,its very hard for a guy to think about marrying before he is 26 (oops I think even thats early)!!For the their career,their dreams,everything has to be set and yea may be when their bored of all this,they might consider a marriage
3.Religion:When you fall in love you are atheist,you respect all religions,You feel you know more about your lover's religion than your religion,try to convince each other that we are modern couples,we dont give a damn about religion,But the verb 'convert' is the villain,many agree to conquer their love and many not.There you have a simple reason.I cant go against my family!!Yes You cant and you shouldn't..
4.Yes..This is the most interesting Chemistry..Its not long distance,Its the weird chemistry,the straight line becomes triangle,you no longer love your partner,you no longer think she/he is attractive,you have a zillion reasons to avoid each other.What not!!Beauty of this theory is that it Has a clause.Many a times this happens when there is a third person involved in the relationship.You have a comparison specimen.Yes there you go...;)
Well like the 5 th theory in my Love Part-1 There are a couple of people who break up before they fall in love,may be because they haven't attended CVEN 644 Risk Anlaysis-Techniques and Modeling.You are as usual confused whether you are in or out of something,so the best way is to break up .From what??That's what I am trying to find out..:)

Well this was my humble effort to give away my dark side writing and write something different..This is dedicated to those Anonymous readers of my Blog..Yes I can write something different..;)Though I failed in it..
Cheers and happy Break ups!!!

January 18, 2008

A Regret

Is it true there is sun out there
My foot stuck in this dirty clay
Can you tell me if I should walk back
Where I can wash away my dreams.
Words of unseen seasons are fake
Dont let me walk to you to give a word
A word that will give a new strength.
Make me less strong so that I drown here
at this very moment to close my eyes
and gulp all the air that is keeping me alive
In this darkness I want to end the journey
let me be my self for a day..
call me back to where I started walking
I am letting myself fly away for sometime
taking off my foot to move with the zephyr
to open my eyes when the sun rays force me to.

January 17, 2008

A Bubble

Looking deep into that tiny bubble
I smiled to see those colors turning red
holding my breath to keep it alive
I tried moving the dark shadows on it
Pulling apart the plaette of dark colors
I stood confused on the lonely road
My next step would be on you
in which I could see my today and tomorrow
Fly away my soul from my evil aura
Closer you are to me,darker are your days ahead
I want to see you flying away to the zenith of joy
Wish I could hold you on to my heart
but I fear my tear drop might take your life

January 10, 2008

A tribute to CEM Fall 2007 Batch

Last year this time of the year I was eagerly waiting for an admit letter from my well planned list of 8 universities.Like the MS applicants call it, 2 dream ones 4 moderate and 2 safe ones.Getting into my dream university was my ultimate goal.Like we read in various orkut communities and Edulix I too believed that once you get here,u 'll find some kind of funding.With thee full scholarships in hand I still waited for my dream university which is a nightmare now.
I came here thinking it was a big achievement getting into the university I ranked first in my list and some kind of funding is sure to help me graduate.But still its an irony that when all the people you know have something in their hand,and you are still waiting.
I was chatting with one of my classmates about the pathetic situation of our specialization which doesn't even give an instate whereas some departments just give all their graduate students an instate as if its some kind of a incentive for joining that specialization.He made a valid point which everyone who is planning to come to a US university should be aware of.There are a couple of graduate students with a gpa of 4,coming from top Colleges of India with other good admits, washing plates and cleaning tables just to survive in this land and to pay their fees.
Its kind of hard to digest at times,But at least for a few people like us life in US is not a bed of roses.Its the question of survival.We bitch about our department and vent out our anger,assume that other specializations and departments doesnt exist,keep working overnight in concrete lab just to manage three courses,whereas some others with 4-5 courses a semester,party every night and earn 1000$ a month.Are we denied all this just because we have an extra 'and' in our specialization..May be yes..Just because we are Construction Engineering and Management not Construction Management..
I dont know what made me write this..May be next year this time,I'll read this post with a smile..
Well this is a small tribute to all my classmates who are frustrated with everybody in CE TTI Building..Lets all hope,at some point in life all this appear silly and funny..Cheers to CEM

January 7, 2008

The Reason

Its been exactly five months I have been in this so called United States of America.A dream destination for many third world residents and a compromise for a few who are trying to lift the shadows off a dream which was built out of a complex circumstance.It wasn't my childhood dream nor my teenage fascination to come to this country.A land of opportunities some say.But for a F1 Visa holder,this stage should be best described as a pre military training camp.Being in a class of people who is questioned about her right to breathe the self identity and the freedom to walk on the streets is the worst torture that can be given to someone who by default had a pride in her traditions and community.
Aday,a person,a word,a movie,a smile can make a difference in your life.On this track we keep running,more or less like a self tuned machine which is unsure of its path because the code of the program which makes us run is still been worked on by some unknown force which we call as 'fate'.A Sunday afternoon just turned my life upside down,but the very next day I got up and started racing again not sure about the finishing point nor who my competitors were.Here I am far away from where I started,oceans dividing my identity and my true pride.
Holding on to my certain conservative beliefs which my friends sarcastically refer as my 'ideologies and principles' I tried to make an assessment how successful i was sticking on it.But the only way I can continue this race is carrying the baton close to my heart and believing that that time has not yet come to make an assessment,nor a judgement on my race.
Coming back from a heaven where I could breathe only love for three weeks and leaving behind some people who made you realise you deserve to win this race as their prayers and strong love is pushing me hard to the destination,I decided to take a break from the world of fictional existence.
Like Amir Khan tried to say in 'Tarein Zammen Par',Everybody has the right to be special.We are all born stars,some shine throughout their life and some brighten day by day and some needs an inspiration to shine again and enlighten themselves.In between the stars we live,but you shine more when you accept that all the other stars are shining for you!!!:)

January 3, 2008

A Birthday song forever

I looked upon the stars to find you
Never could I see you smiling at me
This day I wish you fall back in my hands
I would never let you run away
A zillion kisses and hugs to you
Wish I could touch you once more
I want to sleep in your lap for a day
and I sleep forever like that
My helpless mind yearn for a sign
dont know why I stand alone
I dont want to turn back and look at you
You are here with me today and tomorrow
Singing as loud as I can.
A very Happy birthday to you!!