October 31, 2007

The Guitar Lessons

I had a guitar!I used to attend guitar classes when I was a kid.But honestly I still cant play a piece properly.First string was my favourite.Very convenient.you can slide your fingers smoothly over it.but it is the one which hurts you the most,I still remember the dark red lines on my fingers.Well but very often the first strings break..I keep strumming it and somehow I manage to break it and then leave the guitar on a corner with an excuse that I cant play it without the first string!!
This day is special(1 Nov).Its an anniversary.I want to play the guitar,may be I will end up making a fool of myself like Phoeby(Remember her guitar practices).Because this day made me realise two important things in my life:
1.You may lose the first string and stop playing the guitar,But the other 4strings(wait a min,is it 5?) can work wonders,so don't bury your skills in memory of the dead string,make the second string the first string and play it,the note may be low,but I think its more reliable as its hard to break.
2.First string is hard to bend,but easy to break,but you always cherish the notes on the first string,never want to see any other string replace it,coz my favourite notes are always high!!!!
A harmless Guitar Player!!!

October 22, 2007

A lovely Morning(Notes of Sarcasm-1)

I dont care how this day is gonna end!!!The weather was awesome today..It was drizzling...I was a wearing a sweat shirt..It wasnt helping me much.But my mind was still warm...But wind just brought me a dry leaf.It didnt want to stay in my hand...It tried flying away...My hands let it free..Still wet hands did the magic..I smiled..Kept smiling...I walked in the opposite direction...Will walk away...But with a lovely Smile..I am still siling..I just cant stop it....[:)]

October 21, 2007


Once a friend of mine complained that my happiness is dependent on others.At that point of time I was actually annoyed as I felt that dependent happiness is a good thing..But took me sometime to realize the depth of that very statement..
I believe that its very easy to fake happiness,even if you are going through the toughest phase of your life,you can make others think that you are having a great time.I don't know if its a good thing or not,But on the process of fooling others with this fake happiness,at a point it becomes real.That is when the fun begins.You never know if you are being happy for yourself or for others.Just a big smile n your face is just enough to convince a few I guess.
Whats being happy for yourself??
My roomy wants me to live a day for myself..Do things what my mind wants to..Attain the happiness which nobody else but I should give myself...I am trying to breath the very thought.But I am scared if I'll fall in love with those moments and never come back to my old self...
Can we be happy for ourself alone.Everything we do has something to do with others,and I just cant isolate happiness form people around,or am I missing something..I actually discussed about this to my few friends..here are their comments..

1. donno.. but i feel there r no moments that we can have for ourselves.. because we are what we are because of everyone around us
2. we live as if we were never gonna die, and die as if we had never lived everyone around us
quite contradicting answers rite?

The Philosophy of 'objectivism'.I wish I could embrace it..But then I feel I am too late for it or the little goodness that is instilled in me might just sublime if I do..
I am just following the time...For me the little pressures are always bringing a smile..I just love the 'bubbly' tag associated with me..But let me contradict that statement..I wish I could act Grouchy....
Well all this nonsense did make some sense to my mind!!!So I think I am ready for it!!!!

October 19, 2007

Stop Inspiring me!!!

I wrote this long back..I am publishing this as I wanted to compare the themes of my poems.I realise that everything revolves around a single inspiration.I hate to call it my inspiration as it left me bruises..I wish u could stop inspiring me from writing this.I want to write about things that would bring a beautiful smile of warmth not sarcasm....

My eyes opened to find u in darkness,

The halos of my faith lead me to your soul

You moved away leaving your tears to follow

Trying to trace those momentary icons,

Walking through all the thorns u laid to hurt me

Enjoying the sweetness of that pain I followed….

Standing alone in the path to zenith I looked around;

Looks of sarcasm all around, made me blind

Drowning in the guilt of the passion I chose,

Your eyes speaking about the unknown seasons,

Reading the words from your limpid heart

I searched for those dreams holding our hands.

Felt them perishing in the heat of my agony

With my reflections dying with them

I woke to the music of the new season to come

Holding me with its words of hopes and spirits

I moved along in this new wind of desire,

To find myself smiling in the mirror of tomorrow…

October 14, 2007

The Downpour

Rains always fascinate us....It rained in Bryan today..I wish I could walk in the rain..anyways just a small thought from my heart...

I could hear your footsteps

Tamping to the rhythm of my heartbeat

My entangled hands moved to reach you

Bleeding path of destiny haunting my way

Words of sarcasm hitting me hard

I closed my eyes to see you

Bruises of past brushing me, I shivered;

holding you tight, I could feel the warmth

closing my eyes tight to hold the dream

Living the moments I never would embrace

Smiling at the zenith of the fake happiness;

The halos of fate and faith lightening my canvas

I spilled the colors of my life on your wet hand.

I opened my eyes with an empty hope

To see the colors of for coming seasons subliming

October 6, 2007


Today was one of those days of my Life I was in a mood to look within..A long sleepless night made me think about the ups and downs of my Life.I was trying to figure out the answers for a zillion questions which always puzzled me.I could see my mind boiling with some complexes,ego,agony,frustration and a lot more.But what is this 'MIND'?
I dont know if the medical science has a proper definition for it or not.I believe they do have..Many intellectuals must have spent sleepless nights to figure out what exactly this 'mind' means..I havent read anything in particular regarding their findings or any kind of scientific analysis.But I firmly believe that the most complex part of our body is our mind..
For me my mind is sometimes my logic,sometimes my heart or sometimes the necessity of a situation.My mind has always puzzled me.It acts weird when I expect it to act in a different way.Though I feel that I can control it,Sometimes my judgment fails .But my mind never let me fail though I wish I could fail.Thats when I realise that I was under estimating the most wonderful part of me.The so called 'mind' is very cunning.I believed that I am a typical cancerian with a lot of emotions and sentiments..I still am..But what puzzles me is that my mind lets me act emotional when I face a very silly issue and controls my 'unwanted' emotions when I go through a very tough and difficult phase in which I deserve to be emotional and weak..
May be its the ego thats doing the trick!!The more you realise your weakness the more your mind fools you..I wish I could convince it to play along..
But I am amused that God has given each one of us a very interesting Riddle to play throughout your life..When you listen to it,it works wonders to you..But when you try to tamper its path,it plays in a weird way..Tuning it takes time...But the best deal to have with your mind is to challenge it..Play along...see where it takes you...

October 3, 2007


The word 'love' excites everyone.I shouldn't make this statement universal as there are people who are allergic to that very expression and claim that they are NOT interested.My four years of under graduate education gave me a dual degree.A B Tech in Civil Engineering and a PhD in' Analysis of relationships'.I would like to pen down my findings as it might or might not help those who are not engaged yet.These days having a boyfriend/girlfriend is a common scenario...But its very seasonal.Back in college it was semester wise.The first Phase is the necessity..escapism from boredom.or when you see your friends with a girlfriend/boyfriend.Another reason might be cause you feel that you have been waiting for so long for the right person and you realise with a heavy heart that you are still 'SINGLE'.
Love at first sight!!!Well its something really tough..because love at first sight mostly happens when either the girl or the guy is really hot!!or may be I am wrong..so mostly such people are committed and those who fell into this trap of 'first love' will join the desperado club!!
My PhD was concentrated on the types of Love..According to my findings there are 4 reasons or types of Love.
1.Sympathy Based:these are relationships which build up out of symapathy.when one of is going through a bad phase in his/her life, a support is always welcome.The support grows into relationships and then..I actually wonder..will it last after you are outof the situation.may be..
2.Looks matter..yeaz it does..the most good looking girl in the neighborhood..she is the dream girl..Every human earns for a good looking partner...Even if the dreamgirl is a bitch(okie the dream guy is a bastard) u ca hang out with the person for sometime..jsu because looks '.......'
3.Intellectual/Philosophy:There are few pairs which get attracted to eachother because they feel that ONLY they can understand each other..their frequency matches,their intellect matches..what not!!they end up discussing philosophy,and the so called WEIRD and scientific stuff and later realise that..here we go
'made for each other'.Mostly this happens when two people do research together,or they work in the same field.But they are considered the 'most unromantic' people around,But they surprise others quiet often
4.The last category is the 'instincts' or the 'admiration' category.we all cherish certain dreams in our minds.we admire certain characteristics.We are amazed my certain qualities or attitude in others.This can be considered to a strong and reasonable characteristic to fall in love with someone.You admire certain behavioral characteristics which you would like to share or to experience..So you are simply attracted..:)
There are a few people who doesnt fit in any of these categories.The people who fall in love and never realize it or hate to accept it.They are the people who suffer and mostly believe 'one time' or 'never' !!!They are the people who believe themselves that are the ones using 'head' and not 'heart'..Lacking guts or flooding ego..they keeping it within themselves.
Well I personally feel that you need not 'go out' with a person or 'hang around' to love someone..Its just all in you..You might never let the other person know that you love him/her..U dream..keeping loving the person..get saturated and at somepoint you feel frustrated because you are confused.!!!But then you try convincing yourself that you were never in love..But at some point u simply 'Wish' the other person loves you and keep waiting...forever...with a hope in your 'heart' and a faith in your 'head' that its impossible!!!
Well as I mentioned in my first post its matter of your heart...But what I dont understand is 'trying out the chemistry"..From the very beginning you know that its never gonna work out..But you just go ahead for those momentary happiness..and then comes the breakups and patch ups..well guys..I am a bit conservative..So I believe that 'love' happens only once'...if you are lucky..you'll find your true luve soon..If you have already found one...Cheers!!!

My First Post

I always scribble down something when I feel low.I am bad with spellings and grammar.Never care to spell check or read through whatever i write.But it feels so nice when u actually pen your emotions.I have a diary..A secret diary...I scribble down stuff in it once in a while..mostly when I am depressed.But when i turn the previous pages,I feel awkward..
Poems were my all time favorite.I used to write poems..oops I still write poems.But for most of the people it doesnt make sense.They say its just a play of tough and ambiguous words.But they are true...words coming out of my heart can never make sense.

My literature teachers used to teach us the poems of great poets like Frost.We were asked to write compositions on the poets intended message.But I wonder how can we be sure that he meant the same thing..My poems are a part of me..unless you know me well,I doubt you can understand my words...So making this blog public will invite me trouble I guess ..:)