Treasure Hunt

Like many others,I too am eagerly looking forward for the answer of that Million or rather the Billion Doller Question. Who owns the 22 Billion $ found in the Sree Padmanabhaswamy Temple in Kerala.
I have been to that temple couple of times, have admired the architecture and the serenity of the temple, little did I know some years down the Line this would be a world famous after a Treasure Hunt. Kerala yet again proved that it is indeed ‘God’s own Country’.
The Temple which had hardly a dozen security personnel is now thronged by security, media and curious Public. The recent decision of Supreme Court not to open the last vault which is believed to have an equally valuable set of precious stones.Its indeed a very prudent decision made by the Chief Minister that the State is not going to Claim the Wealth. The Royal Head himself has made a statement that he or anybody in the family is going to claim it.In this era of selfishness and mad race for money, it should be well appreciated and acknowledged
There is this discussion about the wealth to be utilized for Public education, healthcare and general upliftment of people.Is it really practical to implement this in our corrupt political system.?Do you think this wealth is something that should be sold in the market and bid for?All these generations it has been safeguarded by the Royal family and one fine morning it should be used for Public Welfare.I am well aware about the poverty of our country, the needs of people. But I don’t think we have a false proof system to properly utilize this wealth.But then the question arises whether we should keep this wealth idle?Mebbe yes! Why not a Museum,so that the the present generation should know what India was before the Brisitsh looted us.Many of us have a psychological feeling India is a Poor nation and we have nothing much to be proud of.But some pleasant surprises proving our rich past is indeed a moral boost for the present generation to thrive ourselves back to that splendid era of Prosperity of our Nation.
Lets wait and see what would happen to this Treasure.Will it just vanish in the air?

A walk to Remember!

I moved my lips for that one word
the word that rolls back into time
I swallowed the warmth that rose
to set a fire in my soul
I see you in dreams everyday
wish I never woke up to feel the real
closing my eyes I freeze the timeline
walking back to make those thorns blunt
A caress to skip a heartbeat
crumbling in the wave of thoughts
I fear to embrace the blossoms of spring
knocking on my frozen door this..
snow weakening itself to the warmth of love
I close my eyes in fear to see the blossoms
moving my feet for a small step outside
wishing the doors shuts the past behind
Tickles of the petals and leaves made me smile
years of coldness washed away to bliss,,

Judgements!

I am proud of being a Woman.I enjoy and detest womanhood at the same time.I am not a Feminist,But once upon a time I believed I was.That was the time I belived most of the men are just hypocrites.In course of my maturity growth,I happened to find some important 'men' in my life which made me realise that it is absurd to categorize people good or bad based on their gender,When woman talk about their rights,their representation,their security,their growth,the message spread around is that woman are some sort of inferior beings fighting for their representation.But I totally cannot agree to this mad rush as I believe women who fights for equality with men lacks ambition.
I recently came across an interview with Shiney Ahuja's wife.I am not anyone to judge whether he was guilty or not.But like the mass public to an extend I too belived he might have been guilty.But now I feel that like many cases,the law might have been biased.Just because a girl claims,should we all belive he is Guilty?I believe that its high time we stop sympathizing and be prudent in judging a person or situation.Even in personal and professional circle,I have come across many who tries to threaten to defame fellow men just to get things done..
Well,on the other side we see those men who are like mad animals destroying innocent lives at their own convenience.Its disheartening to read about Child molestation and those cruel rapes.I wonder why I never hear women doing such crimes.Is it the biology?
Recently I came across an article where a man was caught 'raping' a dead woman?What is that we lack in our moral behaviour that people are making themselves Psychos?
May be it is this public image of man which is giving the Women an upperhand in many cases and situations.
But it is a fact that society is a mixture of sesible and few senseless people.Let be rational and think about the social happenings with an open mind.Let us be Prudent in any judgement we make.May be the judiciary can fail based on evidences,But not our conscience :)

Hum-Tum

Girls and Mood Swings!Quiet a debatable topic.Whenever I pick up a fight with my BF or be emotional,He asks me "Are you PMSing?".Well most of the times thats the truth.Sometimes we girls just cry for no reason,feels annoyed for no reason and even feels to be loved and cared for no reason.I might be pretty weak in biological reasoning to establish the correlation.But me and most of my girlfriends just blame it on 'Hormones'.
Its indeed a saviour to many of the silly things we do.I sometimes wonder if the guys ever blame their anger on their Hormones?Nope it is just about being a Male.They can afford to be the 'evil' self anytime,and is actually being respected by all.Well I might be sounding a bit Feminist by saying this.But the truth is Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus!
Being a typical cancerian,I hate to admit that I kinda keep a track on all dates."Anniversaries,Birthdays,first day of this and that,6 month anniversary-10 month anniversary what not.Unfortunately my boyfriend has a very poor memory and sometimes even forgets his own birthday!Initialy I thought I would keep bugging him and make him remember all those silly dates.For this I tried an emotional blackmailing tactics and the poor thing decided to mug up the long list of dates.But alas ,the end result was quiet funny.Those days when he calls me and I am in cranky Mood,He asks "Shit!Is it our anniversary today? "(even if its just one month after our real one ).So I gave up the task and decided on setting up a reminder system so that he is reminded of all the dates in advance so that neither I feel sad that he forgot the day and I might even get a gift ..:P
I am sure most of the girls could relate to this,But then I feel this difference is the true essence in the relationship.We compliment each other.I like being the opposites,there is always a sense of attraction to each other..Its indeed an excellent modeling God has made.Emotional differences between males and females.The irony is that though every single one of us is different from each other,emotionaly its very easy to classify based on gender!

A Doll

I chased you all my life
you kept running away
I wonder if you are my own shadow?
faster I run,faster you get away from me
do you know my little dream I hid under my pillow?
clutching the invisible teddy I faced all the demons
Still you came to me to set my dreams on fire
I wonder why I am punished throught my dream?
Will I ever wake up from this nightmare?
I wonder why I carry all the sins I never did
I wish just for a day of a fairy tale dream
that will wash away those dark shadows
I will cry aloud to announce my freedom
Will my dream ever come true?

Home Maker!

Recently I moved to a new place as a paying guest with a 5 member family.A father,Mother,a 6 year old,a 3 year old and a one year old and a maid.I have been amazed at times how the mother of the three children looks after the whole family in-spite of working as a full time executive.I have never seen her sit idle.She gets up (which I assume as I am not awake so early in the morning) at 5 and prepares breakfast and lunch for her husband.When I wake up,I see her cleaning the kitchen and sipping a tea and ready for the next task.Maid is still peacefully sleeping as her work time starts only after the Mother leaves for office.The lady now wakes up her elder son,which again is a difficult task and make him ready for the school.At times I see all three kids awake at the same time and the house is is echoing in the cranky morning songs.When one needs milk,other demands chocolate and it truly amazing to watch the lady deal with all the three kids and satisfy their needs.After sending the elder one to school ,she drops the 3 year old to play school on her way to work.
I see her come back from work really tired and before even she could even sit in a sofa,the complaints and demands starts.She then moves to kitchen to prepare dinner for the whole family and cleans the whole chaotic apartment.Then her next role as a tutor starts.Its time for looking after the homeworks of the kids.She now turns into a teacher.Its indeed a patience tester,to teach a kid when the other two are playing in the same room.After the hard fight,she waits for husband to return and gives him dinner and put the children to sleep with their bed time stories.The clock now ticks 11..I am sure she gets up in between the sleep everytime when they cough or cry in their sleep.Somedays I wonder if she ever gets to sleep when the kids are sick.
That ends her day.The so called father of the three children has just one role..A working Dad.
I am amazed that most of the ladies like her are taking so many roles in life.I really admire her.I feel so proud of the working mothers.I now wonder how frustrated my mother must have felt when I used to demand stuff when she gets back from work.
Its a special gift for females.They are indeed the best managers in the world.The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world indeed.I salute all those ladies out there .. :)

Bricks on my wall!

Just realised its been a while I scribbled in my space.Feels like I have so much to write,but some unknown element of deceit is crippling my words.May be what I am gonna scribble down is disoriented,but perfectly makes sense if you can read with a skewed outlook :)
Random Thought#1
Recently somebody told me that the reason for all my worries are because of my desires.Quiet possible!It is impossible for me to detach the 'Desires' from me as it has become an essential stimulus for moving ahead in life.Desires can be compromised to an extend to match our conveniences. Ironically I have noticed that most of my desires were either compromised or scraped off for the conveniences of others than for my own convenience.
Some say you have to turn into spirituality to get rid of your desires.But is it Human to have simple desires?
Random thought #2
Money is factor which we assume can over ride emotions, obstacles and even our fate.But do we get time to step back and think about those minds we are hurting on our way.The best excuse we can say is ‘It was unintentional’. Coming to think about it every one is selfish in our own way. Sometimes I wonder if there is someone who can love us unconditionally?
Random Thought # 3
Most of us realize at some point or the other that life is indeed unpredictable. Though we have ambitions, aspirations and well defined plans about future, we fail to realize at times that everything we have planned is indeed out of our control. In the resonance there might be a frequency that is gonna tear apart everything you have planned.
Random Thought # 4
I thought time is a good healer.Now that I am in a comfort zone with a bunch of new relationships,more people to love me,I realised I miss my Amma more and more.Now I realise I never made her special and told her how much I really loved her.For those who are blessed with their parents,Please take a moment to realise how blessed you are and make them feel special at times.. :)

But it Rained....

It just rained outside.I never used to fanatsize rain earlier,Infact I always wonder how could some people could write and talk so much about rain.I always tagged rain with an inconvenience factor.Today I ran outside my room to watch room.Strange how one year in a desert made me love such a beautiful natural phenomenon which I always ignored in my life.This is true for almost everything in our life.We take most of the things we have for granted.We might take time to appreciate stuff others have,but we fail to recognize and appreciate stuff we have with ourselves.Most if us take our parents for granted.We keep demanding for stuff or rather at some point in your life you must have thought wish they were never there to control you. The previous statement has a variant assertiveness at different stages.So it might be a little difficult to initially accept this very statement.But when they cease to exist we feel totaly handicapped even if we are self sufficient.At some point or the other, their existence cannot be replaced by anybody else atleast in our Indian way of living.
Likewise in our mad rush for achieving all that we dreamt,we fail to take a moment to appreciate those people around us who is actually the foundation for all our growth,mebbe its your partner,mebbe its ur guide,mebbe its parents,I guess atleast once should we take a little time to appreciate those wonderful bricks holding us together..

A thought!

Quarter Crisis as they say is truly an emotional transition .Everybody is so busy stepping into relationships,new career path,educational milestones, that they themselves never get a moment to sink in and realise where exactly they are and what exactly they are doing.This is the point of life where we just let go of those really strong passions we had few years ago and just strive to survive the peer pressure..
Many actually are too busy in this peer flow that we don't know ourselves if we are mature enough to handle that particular position in our career or even in family life.Most of us are so greedy to step up in the career ladder or for a pay hike that we cant handle a small step down or failure.Unlike older times every single individual we meet are so ambitious and well qualified that there is a lot of pressure and competition everywhere.But what our generation lacks is that maturity to handle a slight setback.
Another reason for lack of tolerance or adjustment is that we have lot of options.May of us are confident enough if not this job we can find something better.This is in a way applicable in personal life too.Many fail to do small adjustments and sacrifices in married life with this same attitude in our mind.Every single thing can be replaced in this era,so the tolerance limit is coming down too.This generation might be an intelligent workaholic ambitious and a diplomatic generation.But what we need to think is if we are a matured generation have principles and ideologies?

Random Ramblings

Relationships are indeed complex to be deciphered and predicted.Some relationships are by choice,some are by default,some are unexpected and few are forced on you.Most of us feel that we are that essential part for somonelse or mebbe for a something and the world comes to a complete standstill if we fail to exist.But irony is that we ourselves know that this is not the truth. we slog day and night for our work,making ourselves belive we are indispensible for the project team or for your Boss,But the truth again is nothing is gonna be stagnant.Everybody moves on.
I was feeling terrible for no reason after my best friend got married.I myself couldnt convince myself that I should be happy rather than being possessive about my friend.But then time is a good healer.I myself is not sure whether I would miss her so much once I settle down in my life.Priorities change,friends who you think can inseparable starts drifting away from you or you drift away from them in this flow.But I am sure there will be some point in our lives (mebbe few years down the line)we might get back to this same stage.So the gist of this random rambling is that we all move on,people come into your life and go away from you,but ur existence should eb guarded by your own will to go ahead and complete this so called cycle!

Change of Seasons

The love in the lyrics haunting my smile
I skipped a heart beat when I hugged you
all the pain and grief that stuffed my past
washed away in that tear of joy;
I smelt the blossoming seasons in your breath
moving in the ocean of endless hopes and dreams
closing my eyes to grab the beauty of your presence
my soul bonding its alter presence across the miles
Here we stand together to be more closer than ever
fathoming our love for a more beautiful tomorrow..

Dew Drop!

Dewdrops failed to whisper to me
Holding you in the warmth of my palm
arid past stay untouched in my eyes
My fingers shivered in holding you tight
swallowing the pain,I smiled at you;
Failing to see the gleam in your eyes
I recalled those dark shadows to guide me back
retracing my path in my teardrops
subliming the heartbeats in the rhytmn
I droped you to a blossoming bud
away from the deadly teary fog
just to see you smile and shine

Mindless Mosaics

Best time to give a little thought to ‘About me; is when we travel, I just love the time when I get to myself on my way to work. I tune into my favorite FM Channel and listen to their classic breakfast show. Then comes the fun part, People generally have a notion such a ‘self’ space is very dangerous. But I believe it’s nice to have a thought about your past and you’re present. I don’t want to call it’s a retrospection as that term has a lot of guilt associated with it. Apart from regrets, there are many small things which you yourself ignored which can make you proud and put a smile upon your face.
Last day I happened to see the latest building wonder.’ The Burj Kahalifa’.Buildings these days symbolizes the attitude of people. Everybody wants to rise so high, but their mind set is so narrow, The narrow pencil like structure might be architecture marvel, But to me it just symbolized a structure trying to prove ‘You can’t beat me’.
I got to learn some interesting facts about the mallus out here. They starve; they save every single ‘dirham’ and wire it back home. It’s interesting to note that most people here have a ‘sharing accommodation’. Its if a flat/house has three bedrooms and a drawing room, there will be 4 families staying in that house with a common kitchen and a bathroom. I was shocked to see even an average income guy would prefer living this way with his family coz that is the best way to save money. At the end of the day, everybody wants to have a huge bank balance back home. I sometimes wonder how long they can keep doing this. Is our ultimate motto in life is have a huge savings when we retire or to have a satisfactory life till we retire? My house owner once told me(who is earning a huge amount every month making 3 other families stay at his house), I live like a laborer here and I live like a king in my house back home. His ‘King’ role comes once in a year, But is it worth all the pain and compromises to have a royal stay once in a year. Well each one of us has a different outlook towards life. We have a different mission and vision, but I guess I would like to live life to the fullest today like I will die tomorrow.

A word!

Holding your hands and closing my eyes
I could see all those buds waiting to blossom
the smell of the new season and air of warmth
Hurting my hands I felt your fingers moving away
I tried to wake up from the dream to stop you
You walked away faster than my heart beats
Hurting my eyes,I woke up to stop you
I see the remains of the fall.
My steps retracing those sand writings
I smiled to myself trying to wash it away with my tears

Where the dreams come true?

Life is full of surprises!You enjoy certain surprises and certain you fail to be 'Surprised'.Sitting in the flight to Abudhabi,I failed to be 'Surprised'.I just wanted to see where this 'Life flight' would take me.I smiled at myself for those notions I had about myself,my career and my so called surprise filled 'Life'.I looked around to find many faces with a 'hope' or rather I could see they were all carrying a dream.A dream of survival.I didnt have any dream or a hope.I was still running away from a lot of things.I wanted to stop and look at myself and answer those questions inside me.But all that came out of me was a 'Sigh'.A sigh to look ahead and wait for more surprises,beat the recession,learn to be a good fighter.I was shocked at the way people at the immigration treat the females who fly to Middle east.I was asked a hell lot of questions and had to show all my degree certificates at the Calicut Airport.The lady at the immigration sounded as if I am some maid trying to migrate there.I was really upset the way females were treated even if they have proper documents especially by a lady officer.I just couldnt stop myself frm telling her 'Please do not see everybody with the same eyes'.I dont understand the reason why the asked me a hell lot of silly questions when my employment visa had a 'Civil Engineer' clearly stated on it.
Gulf!Where the dreams come true...
Today I see how certain dreams come true.Here in this part of the world everybody has a story to tell.Why they are here!There is only one thing common to all those people who come here.Some day or the other they all want to go back home..
Its just been a few weeks here.But I realized I am blessed to be sitting in a bed under a roof with a laptop in front of me.I have no idea if my writing would help those people to understand the plight of thousands of people in this part of the world who work day and night for a living.Buses with these laborers with their heads down is a common sight here.I wonder what gives them the strength to survive in this scorching heat and those pathetic labor camps?I wonder if their dear ones back home can ever give them the true appreciation..
To be Continued

Once upon a time...

There were a lot of things which were a part of us and our routine,but cease to even flash in our minds.Last day I saw couple of school kids waiting for their school van.Certain things which were so much part of my childhood just flashed through my mind.I am not sure if everybody can relate to this,But I would like to scribble a few fond memories I had in my school life
1.Exam time :We used to have half day exams thrice a year.I loved exam time as I could be back home for lunch and watch all the TV Programs which I used to miss otherwise.During exams we never carry our backpacks,it was always those big 'textile plastic covers' to carry the pencil box and the writing pad.I used to keep the good ones under the bed exclusively for exam time.We used to compare the covers in class and always wanted our cover to look the best :).I still remember the time I got the 'paper bag' for the first time.I saved it for the annual exam and made sure it was safe and away from the hands of my mother.
2.Name slip.I was crazy about nameslips.Before the school starts it was a custom that me and my amma sit together and cover all the notebooks and textbooks with the plastic coated brown covers.I used to adore the special white colored ones my classmates used to bring which was available only abroad.Nameslip was a status symbol too.I never used to stick those nameslips you get for free from shops,But always wanted the glitter cartoon ones.I still remember me telling someone that my biggest wish in my life is to get 1000 nameslips from God.
3.Lunch time.I was/still a slow eater.There were only a few dayscholars in our class.But we all used to sit together and discuss everything for lunch.We always waited to see what was inside our friend's lunch box.Then comes the sharing part.I miss those lunch sessions when we could take anything from anybody's lunchbox which tastes 1000 times better than what was in our lunch box.

Lot more to write,But I guess space is not enough.In a nutshell I miss my school days.Innocent days,innocent dreams and innocent minds.Wish I never grew up :)

Treasure Hunt

I was wondering what would make me get an admission in Wharton school even if I have a full GMAT score?To make it more simple how do I stand out from others?This question has been haunting me for the past couple of months.I have been thinking what would make me different?How will I leave a mark on this globe?.How can I make my life meaningful?Most of the people I come across lead a mechanical life.They have temporary goals and most have them try to make a difference to their dear ones.Many of us are really not bothered.We feel a common person like us can never stand out in this crowd.But I guess its worth thinking once in a while 'What makes me different'?Being a jack of all trades never takes you anywhere,You have to be a master,A master of your soul and also that special 'thing' which makes you glitter much more than those zillion stars around us.I wonder when would other stars smile at me?I am still wondering what is that unique gift God has hidden in me.Discovering that would be the greatest treasure hunt for each one of us :).Its never late.Let us all think at least for a second.What is that hidden treasure which would help us leave a mark ?Lets make a difference to someone if not everyone. :)

Echoes!

Those shadows surrounded me
I tried to wake up my dream
my crippled eyes kept me in darkness
I cried aloud to wake you up
I heard your footsteps walking away
My words cease to make you smile
tears could wash away my mistakes
Rhythm hugging my passion
Can you stop to listen to my words?
Embrace it when you miss your steps
turn around to see me waiting;
Colors fade to bring the new sky
I see you in those buds to blossom
Holding back everything I owe you
I express in my silence and my blind dreams

Just for me!

PS:Not edited!

A true victim of recession.Sigh!I hate to admit that.But I still wonder why ME?I am sick of all the motivating and optimistic and spiritual lectures I get to hear everyday.But I frankly regret to have done so well in my studies since school.Inspite of reading biographies of people who did a lot of hardwork to make it big,I really dont know why I still have a lot of expectations about my career.I find it hard to compromise.I know this is a bad time to be choosy,But today I feel even if I give away my dreams and ambitions,its hard for me to find a job.
I had a terrible experience when I decided to try my hand in teaching.I thought it would be a good idea to go teach in an Engineering college rather than sitting at home and wait for the 'VISA' which seems to be a illusion! On my first day to college,I was shocked to see the number of private engineering college buses in the stand.Students dressed in uniforms,It was hard for me to comprehend the fact that they were engineering students.Engineering has just become an extension of 12 std.The college was no different from a school.I felt bad about myself coming back to such an environment.But I used to love teaching and I felt it was a good service.But unfortunately the class turned out to be another shock.It was hard to believe they cleared the entrance examination because most of them didnt know even the basic geometry.But the worst part was the attitude of the students.Students behaved to me as if I am some random girl they met in some park .Forget about showing a little respect,they were throwing offensive words on me.My pride just couldn't let me continue there.I found it funny when they asked me'Teacher,Why did you come to teach in a college like this even after doing your MS from US,Didnt you get any other job'.I was heartbroken.I realized how much ever we try for certain things,most of the things are out of our control.
I wish I had lesser pride,lesser expectations out of life.But sometime I think ;Have I not sacrificed enough to have to have little happiness or rather not to be in an 'unhappy' state?

Discovery of India-Glimpses