March 8, 2008

For My Amma


I have been thinking of giving an obituary in the newspaper as my Amma's anniversary is coming up,It would be a shame on my part if I ask somebody else to do this task because from a very small age she used to encourage me to write.But I couldn't write even two sentences myself in memory of her.I found it weird.I tried to google and went through the usual press obituaries,still I couldn't come up with something of my own.I just wanted two sentences,just 20 words to tell the world that yes its my Amma's anniversary and I so very miss her!!
May be I need more words,more space to talk about her.I dont want to believe that she is somewhere very close to me watching me everyday.I really hope she is not within us today,because if she is indeed watching me she would be the unhappiest soul to see me suffer.
I sincerely dont want to make this post an emotional/sentimental piece by talking about my loneliness or thrill in being the single surviving member of my family.
Just wanted everybody to remember her this month,as I am sure most of my blog visitors personally knew my Amma..
This is all I can do for her in my blog..

20 comments:

Rahul said...

we will always remember her, Bhadra! Among the teachers in the department, she was perhaps the one who connected most with us at a human level. It was always clear how much she cared for all of us...

Bhadra Nair said...

Thanks Rahul

Malay said...

nice blog bhadra

Anonymous said...

hello bhadra, this is your "anonymous" economist friend.... we all ride difficult times in life... just as you wrote about the recession in your previous blog. As unfair as it sounds, these events also (should) make us stronger and better human beings... they also give us an opportunity to reflect on some of the bountiful blessings we have in our lives. Ee manohara theerathu tharumo iniyoru janmam koodi.... ennalle kavi padiyathu.

I did not know your amma. I can see you miss her lot.... All my prayers are with you.

Bhadra Nair said...

@ Malay Thanks
@ Anand
Thanks.Strength is a virtue always admired but never desired..:)
Manohara theerathu oru janmam koodi eni venda

Rohit said...

"Nainam chhindanti shastrani,
Nainam dhati pavaka, na chainam Kledayantiapa, na shoshyati maruta"
Na hanyate hanyamane shareere"

Weapons cannot pierce it,
Fire cannot burn it,
Water cannot make it wet,
Wind cannot dry it,
It is not destroyed even when the body is destroyed.

Shrimad Bhagavad Gita

Ajith said...

It takes great courage to be cheerful after such tragedies.. And people like you who do that are really admirable. Life will have something good for you at a later point in time.
I didnt know teacher directly. But have heard about that.
( I've linked to this post from my blog. hope its not a problem )

Bhadra Nair said...

@ Mottu :)
@Ajith
When it is the question of survival I guess strength do come naturally..For me this struggle started since my early childhood.So I dont believe in the concept that just because I had couple of tragedies in my life I have sometg good coming up in my life..I hate to say this,but Sometimes God is partial

mathew said...

Life maynot be fair to all..Sometimes you loose your loved ones..sometime you loose yourself..

But as the old saying goes we have to move on..wishing you the courage and happiness to move on..my prayers..

Rinchen said...

Got your link from Ajith's blog.

Your mom was my teacher and my hostel warden. I remember visiting your house so many times in college. In fact, madam's house was the only one I visited frequently throughout my stay in CREC.

I still remember your living room vividly, the TV in the corner, madam in a cotton sari, talking & laughing with us. You, a small child, just back from playing outside the house, grinning at us students, on your way inside the house.

I lost my mom when I was 16 and my dad two years back. I cant help feeling envious when I see happy families. Yet, we live and we learn. We go on.

You are not alone. All of us who knew madam and once spent time with her remember both of you with the fondest memories. Hope lives on.

Bhadra Nair said...

@Mathew
Thanks..Yup I am moving on to keep my Amma's dreams alive
@Rinchen
:) I did become Nostalgic reading what you wrote about my sweet home which is non existent!!
The reason why I smile inspite of all the tragedies I have in my life is because my Amma left me with a bunch of people who would always want my chin up!!!Thats the my greatest strength.Wherever I go I meet people who fondly remembers my Amma.
May be the reason God made me the 'single'surviving member of my family is to make me appreciate the love of all other people around me!!!
Thanks Everybody for keeping my Amma's dream alive

Bhadra Nair said...

@ Rinchen..If I am not wrong you are Rinchen Dorje right??

Rinchen said...

Yeah :) Rinchen Dorjee, from Sikkim. The one who sometimes got into trouble for coming back late to the hostel :)

Nice meeting you, Bharda. After a long, long time.

Ajith said...

@Rinchen , Bhadra -- Aha, old friends unite :).. So, I deserve a treat for facilitating that rt :) ?

@Bhadra -- Yes, God is sometimes partial..You cannot help with that.. Eitherway, keep up that spirit. Live your life and keep your Amma's dreams alive :) . The entire NITC community would pray for you :)

Rinchen said...

Thanks Ajith! What treat?? :P

@Bhadra: I'm such a typo myself, I went and spelled your name wrong. Sorry about that ok :(

Bhadra Nair said...

@Rinchen..No probs at all..I never spell check any of my posts..:P
@Ajith..I'll give you a treat for sure..Your blgpane has made my blog popular I guess..Made my Blog public just for my friends circle..Now I see lot of ppl visiting my blog..I shoukld be careful with my words now..
:P

Anonymous said...

njan paranjille bhadra, now you have all these friends.... every dark sky has a silver lining.... :)

pedikkenda, ini kurachu kazhiyumbo the US job market will also open up.... remember me when you get your $200K job.

your economist friend)

Horatio said...

ma'am was one of those special people i came across. She was good. very good. Greeting with a smile.

Bhadra Nair said...

@ Anand(Anonymous Economist) Sure will let you know,but then how??I have no idea who you are,where u from..Anyways
@Easwar
:)

kretil said...

hey LKG...
we all understand wat u r goin through now...u r one of the most courageous people i have ever seen in my life...
as my mom always says, "look...god has given her all the strength in this world and she will definitely do well in her life"...
our prayers r with u...krets & lpg