August 21, 2008

An incomplete Note

A phase of dejection and then there comes a phase of geniality!Like the general public say after every down phase in life,there is indeed a up side.Though I completely disagree with the second statement I decided to embrace the so called 'geniality' in the subconscious mind.My enthusiasm to fool around and hide my actual age by narrating interesting gossip masalas in my kiddish way helped me a lot in giving me a immature image!(For those who haven't met me,I look like a8 grader :P)
I wanted to come back to Texas with a mature image this time.Though I cant have a make over,But I thought this semester I wanted to be what I used to be 3 years ago.
May be like a dear friend told me the other day,I indeed need a fine tuning in the way I carry myself.An elegance or rather a maturity!
This summer I realised my priorities in life have changed a lot.My B school dreams,my career interests everything has changed.I have started compromising on a lot of things,my expectation about myself,people around me.
My pessimistic views or rather experiences that made me realise there are only very few things u can take control of.You are NOT the boss of yourself.
I came back with a hope,I can be a new self,a fake idol.
Like a new year resolution its just vanished on the second day!I forgot about the resolution..I felt it was a silly dream I had.Though I changed my track from matrimonial track to my career path,there is still some fine tuning missing somewhere.Can we indeed change ourselves in a month?Is this fine tuning going to help me grab all my dreams??Or is it the time I start doing what I hate the most!Loving my self!
With 4 courses,full time job hunt and no part time job,may be I wont get anther chance to waste my time for a silly thought like this.But may be some years down the line,when I read these lines,I might laugh at this post with the same immaturity with which I completed this post.

3 comments:

Ajith said...

"But may be some years down the line,when I read these lines,I might laugh at this post with the same immaturity with which I completed this post. "
-- Thats the eternal pleasure of blogging :)

"My pessimistic views or rather experiences that made me realise there are only very few things u can take control of."
-- Its not pessimism..Its pragmatism..Thats why life is more about choosing from available options rather than chasing only one/two.

sandeep said...

guess everybody passes thru' thoughts like these. but ... at the end of the day ... the real pleasure s being urself and enjoying being urself. good luck

Bhadra Nair said...

Thanks Sandeep