May 5, 2008

Fear of the Dark

There are moments or rather instances which puts you in a mood to look within!!I was trying to figure out what is 'ME'.This might sound a little stupid,but then like somebody asked me 'What is the purpose of Blogging' the answer is just again a thought!!
The insecure feeling in me comes out as over posessiveness or rather a very quick decison of 'keeping a distance'.Its difficult to keep up to the expectations of everyone and swinging between the two extreme thoughts is the worst torture.At a point you feel that you donthave anybody to count on and the very next moment you realise the strangling love and care that would make you feel guilty!Am I worth all this?Can I keep up all their hopes and expectations?I really dont know!!But why is that when i just turn back I dont see anybody.Why is that inspite of all assurances I feel that I am standing alone.Am I scared to hold the hands for the fear of losing it on my way!!All I know is I dont want to lose anything more!!I fear to posess anything!
Like a small child hiding her barbie doll under the bed before she sleeps,I wish I could hide all the care and love others give me!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bhadra,

We came alone, we die alone. If you realise that you don't posses anything, you won't fear losing. So work with the present and hold those hands :-) with that attitude.

Those who fear loneliness, basically can't stand being with themselves (if you think about it) :-)

The joy others give you is to be respected, not expected. So, don't expect it to be your safety net (when you look behind..)

- A leecher on this blog

PS: You write well.

Horatio said...

Sounds more like
I was too afraid to fly that i never did land -- Train

thought provoking!

Bhadra Nair said...

@Anonymous
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment,as I see u r from TAMU,we should defintly meet for more pep talks ..;)
@Eshwar
Yes..quite Similiar