A rain Drop!

The media has been after the Suicidal death of a Dental Student for the past 1 week.With all the student political groups trying hard to butcher the college campus and breaking every window possible of the faculty and management,I really doubt if those fellows even bothered enquiring what lead to that girl's death.The public and the political groups are busy criticizing the teachers and the management.
As per the media she commited suicide because she was asked to repeat a lab experiment by a cruel(again as per the media) professor.I agree that it is a bit disheartening for any student to repeat or fail in an academic test.But I really dont want to blame the teacher here.Even if she was a bit hard on her or must have raised her voice against this girl,Do you think its a strong reason for somebody to suicide??
Atleast in our country we have been trianed in schools and collges to respect our teachers,obey them and to an extend accept their punishments.Even at homes our parents raise their voice if they think we are not in the right path.But not everyday do we think about ending our lives.
I strongly feel that the younger generation is becoming very sensitive.They cant even accept slightest hardships in life.The moment they feel that the life is not moving as desired,they justt want to escape forver.There is no question of fighting against it or even about having a bit of perseverence.For this generation escapism is the only solution.
I strongly feel that, before we blame the faculy for that girl's death,we should think again if a punishment is a crime in our education system.All of us, at some point in our life has been punished by our teachers.Personaly I still respect and value those teachers who punished me in school.This girl's suicide might be an isolated case.Her loss is a torture for her dear ones.But the next generation should learn not to blame the system,but to ask themselves if they have the will power to move on.I feel children should be trained at both home and school to face certain hiccups in life.many of us fail to acknowledge that life is a rollercoaster ride.We are failing to explore that inner strength in us and to accept that life is not a fairy tale with a 'happily ever after'.

Coming Back to 'LIFE'..

I was excited about coming back,But now I am missing many things I failed to appreciate there.Never knew that I would terribly miss some people I met two years ago.Mebbe its a little hard to stay away from people who you met late in your life.Its been just a day here.But already I am being piled with questions like 'when will you go back?' "what are your future plans?'..Reminds me of the old malayalam movie 'Varavelpu' :P
As I approached the asian subcontinent I could feel the difference.The courtesy,the manners,cleanliness everything declined.But for a person who grew up here,it might not be a big deal.But I realised there are a lot of things we should adopt from the western culture not blindly their fashion.It was hilarious when I saw how our people were pushing and pulling to get into the gate at the airport, like they do in the buses here.Forget abt apologizing for hurting you,I even heard people swearing at each other as if the seats might be filled if they dont get inside the flight at the earliest :)
During my transit at Kuwait airport ,we had a proper Swine flu screening with medical attendants testing temperatures of every passenger.But the irony was at the TVM airport when I saw this huge crowd before the immigration counter.There was this one doc and around 100 passengers crowded around him.He was distributing a paper which was a questionnaire which apparently would help them to understand if we have swine flu.In my opinionIt was the lamest way of screening .All that we need to do was just sign a declaration that we dont have fever,cough or cold.When he saw that I was coming from US,he asked me Bhadra,Do you have cough or cold?Duh!!I would do anything anything to get away from that crowd coz if I had to stay there in the mess for a few more minutes I would definitely have some weird flu soon.
Had a lot to write,But I think I should wrap up..Jet lagged!!Yaaawn!

Country Roads..Take me Home!

There are times when you have a lot to talk about,discuss and analyze,But you prefer to be taciturn.I hardly have two weeks in this country.There is something that still makes me feel that I couldn't complete my mission here.Two years here made me realise some wonderful truths about myself.Except for a little change in my outlook,nothing really changed me.My principles,my ideologies are still the same and I am still holding on to them.Surprisingly one thing that changed was my faith; I realised that the compromises I made in my life, is not a necessity to live in this world :).It was just a moral of age old bed time story.

I was totally ignorant about H1 Bs and job prospects in US.Honestly I never had an 'American dream'.All that I wanted then was some exposure,a good education and an escape from a few haunting memories.I was in a cocoon 20 years of my life.Lived in the same place,went to the same school,did my undergrad at the same place.My whole life was confined in that small university town.When I got an admit at NIT Calicut,I just felt that I was promoted to next class after 12!Nothing changed except uncle and aunties became sirs and madams.I still got to stay at home and walk to the door steps of a  reputed college.

But when I packed my bags to fly here,I wanted to see a world,see myself grow into a butterfly that can adapt to any environment anywhere in the world.Today I feel ,I am what I wanted to be.A butterfly!But  there is this one wing of mine that fails to help me fly back to my home, the greed for more independence and more space.

A job,a visa and a few other strings  have crippled my wings.But the truth is that it is just a virtual handicap.

I always used to have an option open in my life.Never had to sit idle and wait or struggle to explore options.Today I realise my priorities are jumbled.I could have happily settled for a job after graduation if not for the recession.Five months of rigorous job hunt here made me realise that I failed to see my default option.To go back to my home country!

But there is something which forbids me from going back to the cocoon again.It might be the safest place on earth.But my wings wont fit me back there and it is always difficult to seal back the broken cocoon.

Today I stand with two good degrees in my hand.Dont know what is in store for me back in India.I am breaking those strings holding me back here.My broken wing will get stronger once I start flying.When we feel the whole world is conspiring to take away all your options,there might be one default option we fail to see.It might be the best and beautiful option,But never compromise your heart to settle for something you really dont want to do even if every single bird chirps the song glorifying it on your ears.

I am excited about getting back to those auto rickshaws.I want to breathe the air without showing my visa status and passport.The dirt free life in here might instill more dirt in my head.All that I want now is to be in the dirt that belongs to me..:)

Luck Hunt

Sometimes we see a pattern in our life.The unpredictable life becomes predictable at times.Like those researchers trying to predict the patterns of stock market,disappointed hearts tend to research on the patterns of events in their life.The words 'Faith' and 'Fate' always confuse me.I was brought up saying fate can be controlled by having a little Faith in almighty.Though I pray everyday,visit temples whenever I get a chance,I sometimes fail to have a little faith.I try hard to convince my heart to embrace the faith.But my head being more rational tends to give me a very pessimistic leap into the life ahead.
I am lucky to have a lot of people who love me so dearly.People who pray for me more than they pray for members in their family.I try to have a faith in their wishes,I can smile anytime of the day or rather proud about having so many people who love me so dearly,But still I always have a fear.I fear about this word which haunts me regularly.'Luck'.I see the resonance in the pattern,rather in every body's pattern,some are lucky all the time,some are lucky sometimes and some are never lucky.
Being at the right place at the right time is not something we can work on.Astrologer consultations,wearing your lucky stones,the expensive poojas,tarot cards help them to have a faith,but again does it really help them always?
Hardworking people,brilliant people might not be able to make it to places some ordinary people get it by chance.Its not about me,but about some minority in this world,who deserves much more than what they are now.Prayers,wishes,hard work,passion, might not help them.All that they need is a little 'Luck'.
If there is a predestined path for all of us,why is this path so partial?.Why isn't it balanced with ups and downs.Do anyone of us care to be one among those unfortunate souls who slips down in every step they take, in spite of having a zillion hands to help them stand on their foot again.Do we ever think about their fear in taking a new step knowing they would fall down the next minute?We can just give them a hand,But not a pinch of 'Luck' destined in our share.

My Immortal

Your smile is our strength

And your strength is our smile

Before the Rains.

Dancing in the rain that swept the dirt away

you made my foot drown in your tears.

You made me walk away to keep it dry

But I see them crumbling up in the heat this side.

I am smiling seeing you swept away,

gushing fears made me freeze in the heat

sweat and snow making my palette look dirty

I failed to see those colors you left for me.

But I do see them far away,amongst those stars 

which failed to shine for me yesterday.

I do look for you everyday from my end of the zenith,

I see you there when I close my eyes.

Another Brick in the wall

Epilogue:

 Unedited piece of crap and random thoughts.

Some of us believe that our life is 'Pre Destined'.There is only a little we can do about it follows as it follows a pre determined path by some unknown entity.If so,why not stop walking and wait for the same entity to carry us to our destination?But irony is that these core believers in destiny, are the ones who work hard on changing their destiny.My job hunt has been in an exciting track so far.It taught and also made me realise certain interesting truths about life.Most of us are always running behind something or the other.Be it be love, job, promotion,fame.When we succeed we never stop running,we chase for the next milestone.

The race continues as we see only milestones ahead of us.The power and strength of the thought 'I am in control of my destiny' makes the pace more vicious and dynamic.

But for those who stumble,they see nothing ahead of them,but the assurance that their fall was predetermined.They struggle hard and try to give up.But the very next moment,they feel a strength which helps them run this mad race again.Like the tortoise race,they succeed and then thank the 'destiny' for the strength.

Now that I am trying to withdraw myself from the mad race with an excuse that I see myself somewhere else ,I decided to give a little thought on what I really wanted in my life.The very first thing that came to my mind is to see my name in Wikipedia!  :P

Like the world leaders,I feel I should make a difference in my short life,I should leave behind something that would make people remember me forever.This is the part where we realise how selfish we are.Everybody wants to be famous and wants to make a difference for their own self interest.I am not in a research profession where I can hope to invent/discover something.So what should I do about it?Dont we all make a difference in this world?Some of us are lucky enough to be in the wiki,some in the google search engine and some in the hearts of people.

For most of us all that matters is to have our names in the hearts of our dear ones rather than being in wiki.

I decided to find a wacky solution or rather conclusion to the silly philosophy of 'wikiomania!

Do we ever wonder about those bricks inside the well plastered walls in our rooms?.All that we see are those bright bulbs and chandlers.A single brick removed from the wall might collapse the structure,but still we never really care for those bricks nor we ever wondered what made those walls which have been securing our existence.There are so may unexposed bricks.They all have an equal contribution in building our place.But all that we care is that bulb which can blow out anytime,which would put us in a temporary darkness.We do replace the bulb and appreciate the light.But then again who comes in wiki..The Bulb or the Brick?

Love Actually!

Oh no!Another mourning day for some unfortunate souls.Facebook status messages are quite rhythmic.Everybody has a 'Valentine' wish decorating the top tab of their profile.But this 'Happy' day is the longest for some people who claim to be the happiest in the world for 'No strings attached'.Interestingly they are the ones who are nosy about the developments around them.Their 'dont care' attitude and sarcastic comments on such celebrations emphasises the fact that they are 'missing' some unknown fun.For those who have the 'Fun' at their own expense silently cribs about the freedom they are missing.Grass is always greener on the other side.Its just an other day for most of us.But the best part of this day is the ironic conflict within us which forces the so called 'Single' people think more and more about this day and try their best to make it an ordinary day!

For a moment I thought it was my Birthday!I have been receiving calls/emails from all my 'single' friends.Its not to wish me but just to tell me.'Valentines Day..Big deal!Who cares..'But then the conversations always ends with a Happy Valentines day and a Sigh!!

I am not a 'don't care' type,I miss those days in college when I used to send prank love letters/chillies to my friends.Those evenings with my 'single' friends cribbing rather bitching about those fortunate souls who are busy taking care of those bouquets and getting ready for the evening fun..

Today I am still the same,the only difference is that I use a public forum to discuss such 'isms and ologies'

Oops Almost forgot to wish you guys!

Happy Valentines Day !!!

Regards

Dr Love

PS:For those who havent read this article,Please have a look.A very disturbing 'Love' byproduct

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

Systematic Chaos

Remember those echoes?

Did you try to sing it aloud

I hear it rhyme with the beats

Air,its stuffed with your words

Ride the dreams to the zenith

I can close my eyes to see you leave

Blindness show me the beauty of my present

my cold hands brush those warm visions

I fail again to remain blind

the colors clutch open my eyes

to see another new shadow to trace

with a bleeding feet,I glide

Is there anybody out there?

Paranormal stories and research always interest me.'Ghost Hunters' used to be one of my favourite shows.I really enjoyed collecting info about local and global  paranormal stories and scaring my friends.But some how today I felt like reading more about it and wants to hear what everybody thinks about the existence of 'Ghosts'.I haven't had any personal experiences so far.But somehow feel that there should be 5 th Dimension.

There was this 'Garden Ghost aunty' in our campus.One of our colony resident  burnt herself at her house.Nobody still knows why she did that.This aunty had a huge and beautiful garden at her house.After her death her neighbours decided to split the plants among themselves.Within a week,there was this 'rumour' that whoever tried to water those plants felt somebody holding the 'Hose'..I still remember me visiting their houses to see those people who were sick for several days because of such a weird experience.I was thankful that my mom did volunteer to keep some plants at our house :P

Well everybody might have some story to tell..But then..'Do Ghosts Exist'??

Curious Case of BN

I am feeling very homesick today.Tried to flip through the old pictures,old memories and even listened to the songs I used to hear at home.Tried to talk about my home,my routines,my school  and what not.But then at some point I just couldnt talk more,felt like I forgot the dream I had yesterday.I know I can never get those days back.

"What would you like to do now"-This was an innocuous question my friend asked me over a chat today.Though he was expecting me to say'Lets playscrabble in facebook'  I had a different answer and it was ...

I wanna go to SM Street in Calicut with my friends.Get down near Manchira sqaure and walk in the crowd and get inside the triveni store.On my way, I want to pray in front of the Hanuman Kovil for a minute and rush to the store and see the latest school items.Checking the list in my pocket I want to head to TBS and get a few books and stationaries.Head back to Koyenco Bazar and have a Sharjah from the corner shop.Window shop the latest salwars and 'gulp' at those price tags.Get an to Mezban with an anxiety.Sit in our favourite table and start the usual gossip sessions ordering fish fingers and kababs followed by the Kadai Biriyani.Spil the coke bottle like I always do.Burp-Time to walk to the Baskin Robbins.Walking in the dust and rush near BMH I wanna look around and comment on those couples from our college who have come to the city to hang out.Get an auto back from BMH to the Palayam stand I wanna hear the drivers and Kilis shouting 'Mukkam -REC..Mukkam REC'

Step into those flamboyant private buses and get hold of the 3 seater next to the driver.Open my purse and give Rs 12..Fasten those invisible belts for the roller coaster ride

Close my eyes and 'Lift shadows off a Day' till I see the hoard 'NIT Calicut'

I miss Calicut!I miss my Home!

Dreams on Fire

The song 'Dreams on Fire' has been haunting me for the past few days.It was a Deja Vu.I felt it was me who was singing it aloud.I sang  several times.Felt as if I could vent out those dark complexes, I had within.I couldnt correlate the lyrics and my conscience. I felt good.It might sound a little insane,but I belive there are a lot of things you can do for yourself,to help yourself and know you better.This might sound contradictory to the lyrics of the song which emphasize the love for someone else.I just hope I can have an empty mind to sing this song again,not to vent out the dirt,but to feel the beauty of the words.

You are my waking dream 
You're all thats real to me 
You are the magic in the world i see 
You are in the prayer i saying 
You are in my two my names 
You are the faith that make me belive 
Dreams on fire 
Higher n higher 
Pasion burning 
Ride on the path 
Once for forever yours 
In me 
All your heart 
Dreams on fire 
Higher n higher 
You are my ocean rage 
You are my thought each day 
you are the laughter from childhood games 
lyricsmasti.com 
You are things further down 
You are where i belong 
You are make me feel in every songs 
Dreams on fire 
Higher n higher 
Pasion burning 
Ride on the path 
Once for forever yours 
In me 
All your heart 
Dreams on fire 
Higher n higher

Congrats to AR Rehman for the Golden Globe.I was so excited after watching Golden Globe.Felt like someobody in my Family got those awards.The Music of the movie did leave an impact.Rock On. :)

Fairy Tale

2009!I feel very old,tired and exhausted.Feel like sitting in rocking chair and narrating a long story to my grandkids.But then I realise I am still a grand'kid' not a grand'ma'.A listener to some great anonymous story teller.I still have a very long way to go,cannot afford to take a break at this stage.But what excites me is the fact that if I keep walking,there is a 'tinny tiny'(Courtesy to my 3 year old cousin) hope that my story might end in 'Happily ever after'.

I couldn't come up with a new year resolution.I forget my new year resolutions within a week or so,But it was always fun to have one on new year.The most popular new year resolution was to get up before 6:30 every morning.My amma used to promise me with tempting gifts if I hold on to this resolution for atleast a month.But somehow I couldnt get up before 7:30 even if I had a board exam at 8:30.

Does a wish really make a difference?I checked my 2009 forecasts on the new year day itself.Very interesting predictions.I am thinking of starting a 'astrology' column in my blog.On  a lighter note it will be good idea to have a astrology,matrimonial and relationship consulting!I am sure to Rock ;).After all my degree is in Construction management,would definitely have some 'Constructive' management skills :P

Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday.I miss u a lot :)

........................................................................

This is some addition to my previous post :D

Consulting Business.

Step 1 

Watch

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r8tXF3GZXM

If you still have time watch this

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhcZdJDkz_w

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7jxrstp6D4&feature=related

4.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApCaaaftDnQ&feature=related

5.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ3pqwpL7hM&feature=related

Matrimonial Blues-Part 2

The Matrimonial hunt is also hit hard by the recession.I hear less of engagements,but more of marriages as I believe people dont want to lose their fiancees too, along with losing their jobs.

Its been almost a year my relatives have been after me to look for guys in the matrimonial sites.Though I am a beginner compared to my friends who are far ahead in this process, I have had some wonderful experiences and have made some notes which might help all those who would be in this process sooner or later.For the ease of it let me call the Prospective candidate as PC and the Applicant as AC :D

1.Unlike the primitive times where we had to make phone calls to our friends/relatives to know about someone,today the first thing the AC does his 'google' his/her name in orkut search.Well if you find a really impressive profile picture,Whew!Next comes intense postmoretm of the the profile which includes the interests,profession even 5 things you find in his/her bedroom :P.If you have really wacky'dull 'headlines' or 'about me' its gonna be a big turn off.Then comes the testimonials.Make sure you have really impressive testimonials and please do not lock your testimonials if you are a PC!On a lighter note,if you have the testimonials from ur ex-gfs/bfs,its high time you delete those mushy testimonials.

Most of the albums and scrapbook are locked these days.But trust me, people like me even go to the extent of reading the scrap books of PCs from the first page and have been turned off by the insight of their past relationships.I know quite a lot of people who have been disappointed to see the album locked and end up asking the 'mutual friends' to download and send them the pictures :)

Communities are another major criteria in the selection process.Getting to know the guy is through the communities he is a member of.First things first.You check on the 'mutual communities'.Yipee!!  We have 5 communities in common. Make sure you screen your communities well if you are in this process.Recently my friend rejected a guy just because he was part of a liquor community as it was not quite acceptable in their religion.

Well if you are a blogger,Bingo!It helps ur AC to get a good idea about you.Many of those doing ng MS/PhD have their own academic web pages which also helps the AC.

These days 'googling' in orkut has become so common that many of the elders in my family do that to learn more about the fiancees of their dear ones.If you are already engaged or announced your commitment to the family,You can expect to see a lot of of profile visitors.

Unfortunately Facebook doesnt allow unsolicited loitering in their profile,So many are disappointed to find PCs having no accounts in orkut,but only in Facebook.

2.Never start a conversation with a AC with a notion that he or she knows nothing about you.In this era of cyber matrimonial and dating,its very easy for anybody to find details of the past relationships.To be on the safer side,its always best to be truthful about your social life,else  you'll be sued for cheating with ur scrapbook or testimonials as evidence.

Recently my cousin came up with this proposal for me from a IITM  guy.She expected me to get excited as once upon a time I had put 'IIT,NIT'in my specifications and kept rejecting her selections as they are not from IIT,NIT.Though I did it to escape from this process,Now I realise most girls from my college days prefer the same.Well coming back to the story,I googled the guy's name in orkut and was surprised to find no common friends as I always end up finding at least a common friend with a NIT or IIT guy.I wasn't very much impressed by his pic nor his profile which looked dead without even one testimonial.My cousin was kinda proud of giving me a guy of my choice and was talking about the future plans and how his face reminded her of me.But I knew I could find an excuse,I kept fiddling with his profile,and here is the catch.Well its not IITM BUT IIITM :) Bingo!I jumped and told her about my intelligent finding!

But all that she told me  was.'Edi ,Cmon Big deal..He has an extra 'I' not one less;so its a plus right?' :D

Good Luck guys n gals with your 'HUNT'.Time to polish ur profiles :)

Trial of words

Holding hands of those shadows beside me

I stood there frozen to feel the dream

Did you tell me I could feel the warmth?

Or did the shadows just echoed my past?

The space and time crumbling in myself

I could see you in that crackled mirror

Walking to you with those dark eyes in pain

I smiled to those stars that showed me my way

Deep steps might leave a mark for you

to make you regret on the blood that it shed

crippled faith wont let me surrender to you

my silent scream would reach you soon

to wake you up from the dream you showed me.

I believe behind every sorrow there is an expectation.To feel true happiness or content we have to get rid of all expectations we have in others,society and future.But I dont think anyone of us could have the leisure of not having any expectations.If you claim you dont,I bet you are the biggest hypocrit.I personaly have seen a lot of people who claim to be really strong struggling to establish their strength or emphasize that in their deeds.But the truth is its all about how well you hide your weakness.Strength is that virtue which people develop to hold on to  satisy their ego ....Cliche?

Whoop!!

Inspite of changing my orkut status to 'Graduated', I was not really excited about the graduation.I didn't know why I wasnt excited.Must be my 'unemployment' status or might be the fact that I wanted a few people to be with me on this special day.Graduation ceremony might not be a big deal for many,But there is something that brings a lot of friends and family to this occasion.Some unknown feeling of pride on their dear ones.While I walked in in Regalia with thousands in the stadium,for some reason I started walking strong,something pulled back my stoop and pushed my chin up.I smiled..I looked around,I felt that the entire crowd was there to cheer me :)
This lasted for a fraction of a second.But I wish I could get that smile back.
Everytime you smile ,you pay for it.I did say goodbye to few people who were a big part of my life here.Tears cant hold them back,nor the friendship.All that you can hope is that 'smile' when you scan through those beautiful moments we shared :)

I better stop this Post here on a happy Note!!
PS:
1.Bush's Speech was not that bad.I really enjoyed it.He has a good sense of humour :)
2.Thats me in the pic ;)Whoop!I graduated!Proud to be an Aggie!!

Who is your President?

Our Brain is very wicked!It sometimes put you in awkward and embarrassing situations.Yesterday had a good trivia time with Ms Brain(Not sure if I should address my own brain Ms or Mr).:P
We were a group of 5 celebrating my friend's graduation at a Cajun Sea food restaurant.Three Indians and 2 French. When struggling hard with lobster tails, I always prefer to be silent as I don't like others to find out that I am clumsy with food.
Trying hard to avoid the Euro-Indo relationships,we were having a good time discussing the food,music and culture.Appreciating their interest and knowledge in Indian cities, we were just trying hard to act 'International'.(Thanks to those ads by the tourism ministry that pop up in our TV Channels).
Here comes the twist.This French girl asked me an innocuous question.So 'Baadera',Who is the President of India?Gulp!I kept chewing nothing!President of India(Not Obama,Not Mc Cain,Not Bush).I looked at the other two(Similar gestures).Busy meddling with lobsters.
Finally my other friend charged.Our Prime Minister is Manmohan Singh!The next in row,Our former President was Dr Abdul Kalam.Both of them looked at me as if I was supposed to take the ball in my court.
Cant I remember the name of the President of my country.Felt as if their looks were crushing me.Trying to hide my shameful face, I started a conversation to justify our memory .'You know unlike in France,President is not so important to us,Its PM for us, and our President is a she..(I said inside..dam..so what?Just because its a female how can you forget her name).
French Army:"But cmon guys,none of you know her name?"
Indian Army:(Giggling)(All eyes on me)(I hate to admit here I was in the quiz club both in school and college)
All that I could remember was the article I read in Times of India where her comments on Bombay attack.But Still no luck with name..I cursed my memory.!
Waiter looking at my exhausted face..'Yes Mam,what dessert can I get for you'
P...Patail..Yesss Pratiba Patil
Whew!I just didnt notice the weird and confused look on his face.I just looked at everybody and screamed..Its Pratiba Patil..The President of India :)
I heard laughter,I heard sarcasm!But I was happy.I didnt forget her name.
Should I blame the media for not binging her name?Should I blame her for not being an active President?Or is it just my brain or my lack of current affairs!
My friend did a good job asking me another innocuous question..'Pratiba Patil?Are you sure?I thought she was some old bollywood actress'!
God Bless India!

Notes on /of Sarcasm 4

Writing some nonsense philosophies late night do invite some troubles.I was on a transient state while writing the previous post. Didn't even think twice before I pressed the 'Publish post' button.But today morning I am in a hyper mood.Thanks to the post and those emails I got yesterday night.I would love to publish the gist of the emails here.It is indeed funny!
A Classmate:Girl,are you ok? Did u start drinking?(Saturday night syndromes)
Friend :I wont comment for this post.It just made me :(
Friend :Oh please enough of this crap!Please start your 'love philosophies' again
Friend :Please come back to India dear.We will look for jobs here.
Friend :Not again!As usual grammatical mistakes.Why don't u read twice before u publish something.Your sentences are unstructured
Cousin :I showed this post to Amma.She asked you to stop blogging and stop worrying.
Aunty :Mole,Stop worrying!Everything will be alright.We have resumed the hunt in 'Bharat matrimony'

Well for those who havent emailed me!I am eagerly waiting!These emails just made my day!

Just for me!

November 23!Well Astrologer was absolutely right!It was a turning point.A day which gave a good foundation to my pessimistic outlook towards the so called journey'life'.
Being philosophical about life doesn't help you to escape away from the truths of life.I am a typical cancer who is over emotional and touchy but at the same time intuitive and imaginative.I have a dream world deep inside me where I am a that little girl who wants all the stories to end in 'Happily Ever after'.But unfortunately I could never tag it to any part of to my life.
All most all of us have a worry.We frame our worries and anxieties so big that we ourselves make it impossible for us to concede the depth of it.Somehow planning never works for me.I have this strong faith or may be the lack of it, that things will definitely go wrong with me.Inspite of all those people who loves me giving me the strength to look forward for that hidden happiness which has been deliberately evading me for so long,somehow my mind never lets me optimistic.I put my chin up and walk forward expecting an obstacle not the hidden treasure.But belive me it does help me out to face everything that comes by.
Couple of weeks back,I had a verbal offer from one of the top companies in my field.Though I had every reason to be excited,I knew I couldn't be so lucky.I tried to keep it within me without letting my smile curl up.Finally I did get a call from them informing me about their' Hire Freeze' decision.
I felt like running away from this truth.I couldn't bring that 'strong' self of mine.Like the little girl who had to go to bed without hearing fer favorite line,I felt so incomplete and confused.
Recession is not my mistake!Hire Freeze is not my mistake!I would be criticized if I say my decision to take MS was a mistake!
All that I know now is ,there are things out of your control.Its easy to tell others or give them an assurance that things are gonna be alright.But do we all mean it when we say it?
The 195 innocent souls who were brutally murdered this week,what was their mistake?We don't know.We can never even put ourselves in the shoes of their dear ones.Sometimes its better to just smile at this so called 'fate'.'Uncertainty' is the keyword.When we live we should try to live our life to fullest.But for people like me its a difficult task because I always look for a fall not a rise!But I sincerely hope if ever there is something called an 'ultimate' power,Please prove me wrong!I want to be wrong about my faith this time.

Howdy!!

Well Its been a long time I scribbled something in this space.My blog looks so dull and 'not happening'.It truly reflects my present state.One more month for graduation.I'll have a masters degree in my hand!!Whoop!
Have a lot of dreams and expectations from the month 'November'.As per some astrologer 'Nov 23' 2008 is a turning point in my life.I wish it turns forward not backward!!Hope I could make my trip to India in December.My next post will be here as soon as I am officially 'employed'

:)