Curious Case of BN

I am feeling very homesick today.Tried to flip through the old pictures,old memories and even listened to the songs I used to hear at home.Tried to talk about my home,my routines,my school  and what not.But then at some point I just couldnt talk more,felt like I forgot the dream I had yesterday.I know I can never get those days back.

"What would you like to do now"-This was an innocuous question my friend asked me over a chat today.Though he was expecting me to say'Lets playscrabble in facebook'  I had a different answer and it was ...

I wanna go to SM Street in Calicut with my friends.Get down near Manchira sqaure and walk in the crowd and get inside the triveni store.On my way, I want to pray in front of the Hanuman Kovil for a minute and rush to the store and see the latest school items.Checking the list in my pocket I want to head to TBS and get a few books and stationaries.Head back to Koyenco Bazar and have a Sharjah from the corner shop.Window shop the latest salwars and 'gulp' at those price tags.Get an to Mezban with an anxiety.Sit in our favourite table and start the usual gossip sessions ordering fish fingers and kababs followed by the Kadai Biriyani.Spil the coke bottle like I always do.Burp-Time to walk to the Baskin Robbins.Walking in the dust and rush near BMH I wanna look around and comment on those couples from our college who have come to the city to hang out.Get an auto back from BMH to the Palayam stand I wanna hear the drivers and Kilis shouting 'Mukkam -REC..Mukkam REC'

Step into those flamboyant private buses and get hold of the 3 seater next to the driver.Open my purse and give Rs 12..Fasten those invisible belts for the roller coaster ride

Close my eyes and 'Lift shadows off a Day' till I see the hoard 'NIT Calicut'

I miss Calicut!I miss my Home!

An incomplete Note

A phase of dejection and then there comes a phase of geniality!Like the general public say after every down phase in life,there is indeed a up side.Though I completely disagree with the second statement I decided to embrace the so called 'geniality' in the subconscious mind.My enthusiasm to fool around and hide my actual age by narrating interesting gossip masalas in my kiddish way helped me a lot in giving me a immature image!(For those who haven't met me,I look like a8 grader :P)
I wanted to come back to Texas with a mature image this time.Though I cant have a make over,But I thought this semester I wanted to be what I used to be 3 years ago.
May be like a dear friend told me the other day,I indeed need a fine tuning in the way I carry myself.An elegance or rather a maturity!
This summer I realised my priorities in life have changed a lot.My B school dreams,my career interests everything has changed.I have started compromising on a lot of things,my expectation about myself,people around me.
My pessimistic views or rather experiences that made me realise there are only very few things u can take control of.You are NOT the boss of yourself.
I came back with a hope,I can be a new self,a fake idol.
Like a new year resolution its just vanished on the second day!I forgot about the resolution..I felt it was a silly dream I had.Though I changed my track from matrimonial track to my career path,there is still some fine tuning missing somewhere.Can we indeed change ourselves in a month?Is this fine tuning going to help me grab all my dreams??Or is it the time I start doing what I hate the most!Loving my self!
With 4 courses,full time job hunt and no part time job,may be I wont get anther chance to waste my time for a silly thought like this.But may be some years down the line,when I read these lines,I might laugh at this post with the same immaturity with which I completed this post.