Why I might say goodbye to Facebook..

As a self-proclaimed social media addict, Facebook was indeed a part of me. Like rest of the world, I was excited to post pictures, share my thoughts, updates and life events.  Facebooking was like the happy-hour at the end of the day. I used to look forward to open Facebook and see my friend’s walls, their pictures, fun videos they post, find long lost friends, read movie reviews, recipes and what not.  I even get to know world events even before I get a chance to read the news.
But like phase after the honeymoon, the bitter reality strikes.  I remember my mother telling me not to pay attention to certain things people post on the walls (I mean the actual walls and hoards back home). I guess it’s time for me to be prudent and filter out what I need and what I don’t want to read in the virtual walls of Facebook. With the entire generation on Facebook, friends ranging from your 8 year old niece to your 80 year old grandmother, it is difficult for me as a person to post something universally acceptable. I have to screen and sensor and even think about the consequences of the wide range of friends seeing what I have to say or what I promote. There is too much information to process. From a social media its now like being in a public chat.
This thought struck me after I started seeing a lot of political/ religious/ cult postings in Facebook.  The so called ‘Friends’ promoting their religious beliefs on their wall, feeding these posts on the ‘trend’, ‘Friends’ promoting their political beliefs, fighting on the ’walls’ in support of their individual political beliefs.  A very unhealthy religious promotion is happening in this virtual world of FB. A competitive and dangerous tone is seen in many posts and people who share it fails to understand that simply by clicking a ‘share’ they are being judged and assessed by people like on their interests, beliefs and even their outlook in life.  I was shocked to see this ‘other’ side of people. I even wanted to remove a few from my list not to come across certain foolish postings on my FEED.
Interestingly, if you take my FEED for this week, the most discussed things among my friends are
•         Aravind Kejriwal – AAP People promoting this, people tarnishing them.
•         Narendra Modi- Modi Fans, Modi Haters
•         Amritanandamayi – Exposers and supporters
•         Film Gossips-Celebrity Private lives, divorces, breakups
To all those people who are in this heated discussion on Indian politics, be it be AAP Fans, BJP Fans, Congress Fans or the ‘X’ party Fans, How many of you have actually voted even once? How many of you are planning to vote for these upcoming UPA elections. When I took a survey of my friends who regularly post promoting their political ideology, I realized that most of them live outside India. I myself has never casted a vote in my home country.   Can they really get their feet dirty and go to India and promote what they believe rather than sitting at the comfort of their homes and posting stuff on Facebook at the cost of their Wi-Fi connection? You can have a political opinion, freedom of expression, but can’t we just confine it to separate groups for such discussions?
Coming to religious beliefs - I really don’t know where to start. From atheists to extremists to moderates, everyone is fighting hard to mock at each other.  All the religions teach us acceptance, patience and tolerance. I am disappointed to see people my age bluntly post such derogatory comments without a proper understanding or research on their own belief.
If you really want to have a good laugh, you should read how common people advice the celebrities on their personal choices. I have been following this Actress who is believed to be separated from her husband. I was ashamed to read the comments of certain male chauvinist. People advising her to do with her life, how to be a good wife and even cursing her decision to come back to films just because there is a rumor she is separated from her husband.  I was so curious to know what people comment on her husband’s Fan page. Surprisingly except for a few comments, his page doesn’t have anybody advising him on his decision to separate. I found this very interesting. How much ever we consider us to be educated, there is always a stigma for the woman when a separation happens, but not for the man. Having said that do people really think, these celebrities are going to read these comments and take advice from you? Seriously?
I think it’s time for a transition. I am still in Facebook for my own reasons. I want to know where my friends are, see the happy things they do in life, share their happiness. But I doubt I will be able to filter what I want to see and what I don’t want to see. May be I should just remain a silent spectator. See the world go by and even see the demise of this giant empire of social media.

Ashamed!

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023053

I am ashamed after reading this. But if not for an incident last year, I would have thought isn't all this a bit exaggerated?

Like any other woman, I lose my wits reading about the rapes and atrocities happening to women in my country. But then those feelings are short lived and I move on as if it’s something happening in some corner of the world which wouldn’t affect me. I sometimes wonder how the so called society be so wrong.  It’s not only about India, but we find rapes and kidnapping of women happening all around the world. I confine my sympathies and those few minutes of agony to myself. I was selfish thinking I am safe and this will not happen to me.

But one day changed it all. Last year on my trip to India, I decided to head to Bangalore in an overnight bus. I have been travelling alone since I was 18. I have lived in three different countries and mostly did all the travel myself. So a 10 hour Bangalore trip was not a big deal. To my surprise I saw the bus was empty. Besides me there were just 4 men and 2 bus staff. I thought more people might board in the next major stops. I was a bit taken back when the bus cleaner announced to everyone that there is only one lady travelling in the bus. My heart started racing and started taking the occasional pushing from the ‘Uncle’ sitting behind me. Since I am a bit over imaginative, I told myself not to freak out and just concentrate on what I was reading. Then came the real freaky part. Whenever there was a romantic scene in the movie which was playing in the bus, I could feel more intense pushes on my seat. Then later I could actually feel some slimy thing on my back, I jolted and tried running my fingers in the seat to check what it was. It was not a cockroach or a rat, it was a human feet. I just couldn't believe it. I looked at that uncle in shock and words were not coming out. I thought he might just withdraw his legs or apologize. But nothing. He was staring at the TV. I wanted to yell at him. Wanted to shout at him! Twist his bloody head! But I just couldn't utter a word. I was a helpless girl there. I had to take a moment and think if such a yelling might put me in more danger. I even started imaging the other people in the bus might be even more evil than this man.

Till that day I believed, I was a smart and bold lady who could react to such situations. My mouth was dry, all I could do was change my seat to the next one and keep all the bags I had behind me so as to shield any such flesh hitting or poking me. My next fear was about the other 4 men in the bus. Will they do something to me in the bus? I checked my phone, it didn’t have range either. All I could do was not wait and keep praying! I realized how crippled I was in a situation like this. If I had stood up and complained to the driver, what is the guarantee he is a nice person?

I did not sleep at all. I got outside the bus and wanted to talk to this monster. Before I could give a piece of my mind, he just vanished in thin air.  I was happy to see my cousin at the station. I didn’t know what to tell them. I could still feel those nasty fingers on my back. I still remember that man’s face. He would have been my father’s age. I wonder if he had a daughter my age. Will he let her go through such a situation? How would he have reacted? Is he a loving dad at home? What will his daughter feel if she ever comes to know about this? I keep thinking. I know most of us who live/ lived in India have much horrible stories to share. I don’t think I will have the guts to take an overnight bus in India again. 

Letter to My Amma

Note : This is a very personal note of mine. I contemplated whether it would be right on my part to publish this in an open space like this. But I thought maybe for those people out there who take their parents for granted should stop their busy independent lives for a moment and appreciate what they have with them. I was one of those unfortunate ones who never got a chance to appreciate the worth of my dear Mother. But I  hope you are not one like me. I always thought the hugs and sweet words was not a necessity and they are just phony ways. But today I realise maybe I was wrong.

Dear Amma

I know I cannot begin this letter with those clichéd questions asking how you are doing and hoping you are doing good out there. I sincerely don’t know why I decided to write this letter to you, but suddenly yesterday night I wanted myself to know how much change 7 years has brought in me.

Everyone tells me that you are watching me every day and you still take care of me like you used to. If it’s true, then you must be happy to see me married to someone who you would love more than me , which would have made me so jealous and kept me complaining that you are partial to him. Balu is like those students of yours who you always talked about at home, hardworking, research oriented and at the same time very much a family guy. He is so like you in many ways and I find it hard to keep up with his optimism and finding happiness in small things which is what you tried to instill in me. I should admit that I was attracted to him for the qualities you liked in a person much more than I liked.

I am embarrassed to admit that I still call him ‘Amma’ when I wake up in the morning because even after 7 years I still feel that you are the one sharing my bed. I still sleep talk, cry and kick in my sleep and Balu is also finding it difficult like you used to.

You should be happy to know that I have gained around 6 kgs since you last saw me. Unlike past, I eat better quantities and you should be proud to hear that I eat almost everything I hated then; especially the vegetables. Today I realize  how wrong I was wasting all the food you used to make for me and fighting with you almost every day for wasting all the homemade food. After you left, I craved for your cooking and started appreciating all food. Ever since I started cooking, I realized how hurt you must have felt seeing me waste the precious food you used to make after your tiring day at work. I am really sorry for giving you a hard time at home.

I still remember the days when I hated attending Guitar classes and you used to drive me saying I would appreciate learning an instrument someday later. I really regret not having taken your words seriously and today I realize what a loss of opportunity it was. Even after being a single parent you gave me lot of opportunities to learn and advance and I think I did not appreciate it then. But now I realize how hard it must have been for you raising me and working full time. Though I must have ignored your advices then, I try to instill me in those things you wanted to see in me. Better late than never.

As promised to you, I have never colored my hair. I can think of only very few promises you wanted from me and I am really proud that even after seeing this generation kids, you gave me all the freedom, facilities and opportunities which I am really proud of. I am really happy that you celebrated my 19 birthdays and never ever deprived me of a birthday fun. I still am lazy to wake up early in the morning and I remember those incentive plan you made if I get up early and study.

Balu’s mother (I call her Amma) is like you in many ways. She also talks a lot and has so many friends like you. I am sure you must have been good friends. I did go to the church in Kollam where we used to throw coins when we go in train. It was really nice to go around the places where you spent your childhood. I used to make fun of you when you used to talk nonstop about Kollam. But today I do the same about Calicut.

I should admit that I realized your values much late in my life and I never appreciated even once or cared to give you a hug and say how much I love you. Almost every day you are in my dream and I dreamed a zillion times that you came back to my life. I hope I find a good career soon and make you proud of the education you gave me.

Sometimes I wish you are just a call away and you hear all my complaints I have to tell you. I really miss gossiping with you and watching all those Hindi serials together. I am only happy for one thing. I didn't have to leave you behind alone after I got married. But as days passes, I realize how nice it would have been to have you in my life once again and share those beautiful moments together. I know how much you wanted to be a mother to my husband and a grandmother to my kids. I shall miss you in every walk of my Life. I am really grateful to the new people I have in my life and also the ones who we had in our life for trying hard to keep me always happy like you wanted to see me. I miss you Amma!!

What you can DO on a H-4.

The word H-4 might be a dream and at the same time a nightmare for many. For those who is not aware of the term H-4, this is the visa category  for all those dependents who come on H1-B ( Work visa in US). There is another work visa called L1 and L2 ( Spouse). But there is something really special about H-4.Unlike L-2, you are going to be crippled and be forced to stay at home for an infinite period till your better half gets his Green card approved, which would take an average of 4 years.

Many of us leave a promising career and pack our bag to US with our spouses thinking the journey will be exciting in the land of opportunities. Little do we know we are going to be in a very tricky situation in future.
I have heard many assuring their wives about finding better jobs in US forcing them to resign their jobs. But here are some facts you should keep in your mind before making such important decisions

1. You CANNOT work on your H-4 Visa. Can start working only after you find a company who can sponsor a H1-B visa for you.
2. It is really difficult to find a job that will be ready to sponsor you. For eg : Assuming you find a job in Jan-2013, You will have to wait till April to file your visa and you can start working only in Oct-13.
3. You can enroll for a masters degree. But if already have a masters or a PhD, then going back to school might be a difficult option.
4. You cannot take up any kind of job which would earn you a salary. You cannot even do an Internship.
5. You can DO Volunteering. But you can do only in a Non Profit Organization and also those kind of volunteering that the institution would normally hire a full time or part-time employee.Which literally means we do not have many options even for a volunteer work.
6. You can apply for a Driving License. This is the only attractive thing I could put here apart from the option to study.
7. If you are in IT field, there are many agencies willing to employ you illegally and later give u a H-1. ( Which is a very dangerous thing to do ).
8. Attend social clubs, learn dance music or any kind of art.

So now you must be frowning thinking what do all those people do there on a H-4? Well, the majority enroll in a university for higher education and change their visa status so that they find a job after their graduation. For those like me who already has a masters and is not mentally ready to do a PhD this is what I do which I hate to admit :(

• Keep applying for jobs like a wild goose chase
• Watch TV, Read books
• Cook, Cook and make your husband happy
• Crib, cry and complain about not having a job and make your husband sad.
• Volunteer in those agencies which is ready to accept you with your visa status
• Look outside to see the piling snow and realise you cant even go out for a walk.
• Write blogs and help others make a wise decision before they pack their bags. ( I am not asking anyone not to accompany your husbands. But if you are coming here for a short assignment,Please do not resign your job).
• Enhance all your hobbies and do everything you wanted to do when you wished you had some spare time.
• Learn new languages.

My intention was not to demotivate anyone to come here, But to give a heads up on your life here. Having said that many have been successful in a finding a good career, exploring their hidden skills. I myself have seen many come up with innovative blogs on cooking, art and many more. Good Luck to all those on a H-4 here. Hope we break our handcuffs soon.

Back!!

Hey I am back after a long break. I realized I write decent when I am depressed and I fail to deliver when I am normal ;).
I just wanted an ice breaker. So here goes one .Excuse my terrible writing, I am having the worst word block ever!!!!

Facebook has become a part of out life. Mostly I even get to hear flash news through FB posts. I am connected to 1023 people everyday, I am following their personal and professional life closely. But when I realized the same 1023 people are following me, It was a bit scary. I do wish a privacy, so I try not to use 'Check ins' , frequent status updates and even bring a control on who can view the pictures I post.
When u buy a product,when you eat out, when you stay somewhere all that I say these days are 'Please like us on Facebook'. Again if I do that the 1023 so called friends are intruding into my privacy. I am not a celebrity whose day to day activities would be any interest to anyone, But still when I see the FEED with people liking stuff I know this is how I people judge me!

Unlike past today I know where my friends are,who are doing what, even when I moved a new place all that  I did was search for friends nearby in Facebook.Yes I am definitely on advantage when it comes to networking because of social medias. But I should admit that I have been agitated on various occasions reading posts about religious beliefs, post supporting their religion, post preaching their religion and then a bunch of atheists mocking at all this (My husband is one among them who is a very enthusiastic atheist who always reads and posts about atheism ).But when u are ready to accept friends from other religion and having brought up in a secular country I dont understand why would anyone use this 'Social' media to discuss our beliefs. I understand that FB is reaching out more people than Television, but do we actually need to promote religious beliefs or your personal religious practices when there are many around who believes in something else. I believe if they do why not just make it visible to your personal group. to an extend its not the friendship which is celebrated here. Its is a kind of competition. In my personal opinion if you call yourself someone who tolerates all the beliefs, then please avoid such postings and discussions.
 
I hope to get over my writing block soon :) and oh yeah Happy 'Love' day people!!

Power of being a Woman

I  always underestimated my powers.Right from childhood,I just wished hard I was a boy not a girl.I was not very friendly with the male community and I remember having lot of fights with my boy classmates just because I always thought that the entire male community was so arrogant and spiteful.Thanks to my father who left me at the age of 6 in pursuit of independence.
I don't call myself a Feminist,because I never believed in the 'feminine' self of mine,but right from childhood I was curious about the injustice by nature and society on the female community.When I was in 3 grade,I remember asking my History teacher why we always learnt about 'early men' and not about 'early woman' in textbooks.
As I grew up,I began to realize my boundaries,my constraints and my limited physical strength.I used to curse being a woman during the celebration of womanhood and still consider the monthly painful torture to be a very prejudiced selection by Mother Nature.I never enjoyed dressing up,trying to look beautiful rather always had an inferiority complex of being an average looking petite being. But then beauty is not what I could tune into my strength.My versatility in conversation skills,my ability to connect with people made me happy.I enjoyed the people near me.I enjoyed being in company and talk endlessly on anything under sun.Conversations,friendships,sharing life stories,traveling,tasting cuisines and above all trying to start a conversation with any person I meet gave me a lot of Power.A power to understand me,my threshold and above all the versatility I had.I owe most of it to my womanhood,my genes and the so called tiny little things in my brain which now makes me a proud woman.
After a Gap of 20 years I started living with a man under the same roof.Contrary to my imaginations and the advice from experienced hands,the transition from an independent career oriented girl to a home maker was easy.Thanks to my laziness I could easily blend in and start enjoying the fact that I could get to sleep for another 2 hours after my husband leaves for work.
I am someone who hates to sit idle,not even enjoy reading books for a long time.I get suffocated seeing the echoing walls around me from morning till evening laughing at my misery of stuck at home cooking and cleaning,But I should say the womanhood is really powerful,After the initial panic attacks you tend to learn to keep yourself happy.You walk around and find stuff to do,You look at yourself and feel content for nothing at all.You learn to be happy on the success of your partner though you might be really jealous at your unmarried friend who is having a good career.You tend to take the power of the house,make yourself believe you are going to take the lead in this family.You take care of your husband and his family with a belief you are the bond that keeps it strong.When you see your husband addicted to laptop and movies you shout at him for no reason trying to make him realize the sacrifices you did or you are doing adapting to the new environment.You are the one who remembers stuff,co-ordinates things,assures the loved one,welcoming and hosting loved ones with a smile and above all believes that whatever hardships you bear is just those tiny bumps on the long smooth road to happiness and being content.My Best friend left her job to takecare of her baby just because,she doesnt want to miss watching her angel grow up.
Tomorrow I might be having a very busy career,But I am sure the woman in me would balance the homemaker and the career with right blend of confidence and power that I will always be proud of myself.But like the saying I always believed 'Strength is a virtue always admired,never desired' .


NB: For those of my readers who might think I am happy with being a homemaker,You are wrong,I am so desperate to start working :D

Story Teller

Ever since I could trace back my memories,one distinct thing I could remember about myself was that I was a 'Story Teller'.I could have any number of people around me and take them to a world of fantasies and curiosity with the way I talked.My teachers thought I was an expressive kid and took me to all those Story telling competitions where I failed miserably.Don't assume it was my stage fear,But I could never repeat a story which was taught to me as I always found happiness in making up a new story on the spot.I still remember the looks on the faces of my teachers when I come down the stage disappointing their hardship of teaching me a good story.That was me.A spontaneous,outspoken, talkative and to sum it up a tiny little story teller who could go on and on about places which she never had even seen on TV.
Little funny stories grew serious,life unfolded every day with a total surprise almost everyday.I started to watch interesting stories,characters,climaxes all around me.I don't claim to have experienced the so called roller coaster hardships or dramatic thrillers,but nevertheless I tried to see each episode of my life as an interesting story I could narrate and relate to people around me.I started writing down a few thoughts about how my brain responded to these stories life .Years passed,I still had a stock of stories,unlike the past the curious twinkle on their eyes turned to clouded tear drops,But I continues my stories with the same smile on my face.I don't know what my passion is.I don't know if I could pen down all that which has been burning inside those smiles.But I would want to be a story teller to someone or anyone who could give me back a curious eyes of suspense :)

Making of a 'Home Maker'

Just like someone said before,our whole life is like a KSRTC Bus Journey.(For those not familiar with what a KSRTC bus is,it is the official bus transportation system in Kerala,very often referred to rickety bus rides and slow movements,should admit the new generation ones are really admirable).Mostly we start the journey standing near the driver's seat clinging on to all that we get hold of and eventually you wait for someone to make an exit and rush to get hold of the seat and have a narrow miss and still stand looking at the missed opportunity and looking around who makes the next exit.Then finally you get a seat and you breathe and look outside to get a glimpse of the true life moving around.There comes a signal,where all those on travel are on a standstill at the crossroads.You see one lane moving towards the green,with a a sarcastic smile on their faces saying 'We won the race',little do they know there is another red signal waiting for them on the route.
I loved those private moments I get on my way to and back from work,watching the traffic,watching almost the same set of people and interesting incidents and much more of a busy city life,where everyone is rushing to make a living.Luxury at its best with the world's best cars,infrastructure and much more.Not to forget those tired sleepy laborers who are stacked like consumables in supermarket sandwiched in hardwork,misery and dreams of making a living for their family back home.
I miss all that what I had,though I used to complain about my solitude,my hatred to come back after work to a closed room and feel the company of someone through skype,But today sitting in a house all alone myself in my new role as 'Housewife' I hate to admit,I miss my job,the job I hated so much,the place I felt made me a stereotype.
Today I feel like someone watching out to see everyone else in the signal gets to go and my lane seems to be in a blockage,I admit I should enjoy this very moment about being with my husband and enjoy my hidden passion for cooking,But I at times cant stop thinking about when I will restart my career,thanks to US rules on work authorization for spouses,I have little hope on going back to work in another one year.
But I guess everyone has their share of stories to say,some left their jobs to join their husbands,some to take care of their parents,and some to look after their children.
Well guess I might start this lethargy pretty soon,getting up late,no deadlines to meet,cooking innovative dishes,checking facebook and mails anytime of the day,never missing an afternoon nap,cribbing to husband of all that you could do if you had a job,trying to find dust at some corer of the room,so you could add it to the list of 'things to do' today.May be this is my golden period,I should not miss enjoying everybit,but to this generation girls who have been brought up to become a smart career women and mebbe never ever mentioned to her about becoming a smart home maker ( exceptions were there) it takes sometime to take the plunge.
But as long as I deaf my ears to those questions from the caretakers and wellwishers about my future plans and how i spend time at home,I guess I am Good!

List Goes On...

I was wondering how different my childhood would have been I was born in this century.All of us have beautiful memories and treasured moments which we wish to relive again. I would like to list a few things I truly regard as special and could recollect as the fondest memories of my childhood
• Sip Ups-The flavored iced delicacy in a plastic tube which used to cost 25 paisa. My amma used to discourage having it saying it’s made of drainage water , But still I would yearn for one especially after the March Annual exams, while walking back home in the hot sun holding your clip board and pencil case in a plastic textile cover.
• Sunday Programs in Doordarshan-Chandrakantha-The character that comes to my mind is ‘Kroor Singh’. Duck Tales used to be my all time favorite. I can still sing the theme song. The Chitrahaar which was eagerly awaited every week for the latest bollywood songs.
• 4:30-6:30 play time.6:30 used to be the most difficult time for the kids when they know they have to go back home now. Irrespective of exams or projects most of us enjoyed 2 hours of rolling in the sand and making our own innovative games, Climbing tress plucking mangoes, watchman running behind the kids, cycle race and the list goes on.
• ‘Free’. those Free things we get with Boost/Complan especially the stickers of sportsmen or the Frisbee or the cards. I used to eagerly wait for Balarama’s festival editions where I would get a sticker free which I would stick in my door adding to the collection,not to mention Mayavi’s adventures.
• Sending answers to Surabhi Program in TV. I have no clue how many postcards I have sent to them expecting my name to be announced.
• Train Journeys and enjoying the hot snacks especially the cutlets and vadas served from Indian Railway Pantry
• Occasional hotel food. I still remember how hard it was for me to get a parcel of Parotta Chicken from nearby canteen. Only if I had a 95 plus in all subjects I would have the privilege of tasting some hotel food which then was a taste I would die for.
• Chocolates and Stationeries from abroad. The Mars,the Twix and those special colored erasers and pencil sharpeners which had that ‘Foreign smell’ in the Lulu packets.
I might just go on.I am sure you guys have loads to add to this list 

Safety Pongala..

Logging into Facebook /Twitter has become the most convenient thing to get hold of the latest news. Unlike the past religious festivals are also being discussed promoted and covered in these sites. I was well aware of the famous ‘Attukal Pongala’ festival from indirect and direct mentioning from my close social circuit. Anyways, I couldn’t resist myself from ignoring the pictures and the media reports on the same. I decided to google if anybody has ever written on the dark side of this ‘Mega Event’ nor about the real safety measures needed to accommodate this crowd. Let me just make sure that I am a Devotee and has absolutely nothing against the religious beliefs of the 3.5 million women who participated in this or those million women across the globe who missed performing this.
I have lost someone who was very dear to me performing this so called ‘Food Offering to Goddess’.Its been almost 6 years and I still don’t understand the logic/or call it the bad luck when that person has been chosen among the 3 million to undergo a painful death or rather to put in the crude way,to offer herself to god by accident. Even 6 years back there were plenty of security measures, volunteers, ambulances and what not. I don’t know if the readers will blame it on the carelessness of the casualty, But I can bet that in a place like Kerala it is indeed a very difficult task to save someone’s life by swift paramedical care.I have been told that it took almost 1.5 hours to cover a mere 4 km in the state of emergency. Do they have a safety policy?Have they done the necessary studies?Are all these people educated about the safety precautions?I doubt whther this is all feasible in God’s own Country where 100% literacy come as a trademark.
I have investigated a bit on such untold stories(not in the Media )about precious lives lost in this much hyped and holy festival. Many lives, Families curse their ill luck or even believe as the Goddess’s early call to attaining moksha.
But the truth is that we people have to think if our society or our governing bodies are equipped with all that is needed to host the 3.5 million women. Mebbe I am biased in my judgement, but I have heard many personal stories who were deprived trauma care and are still leading a painful life. I couldn’t read of any story or a reporter mentioning about those who stopped living after this. I still believe if you believe in your faith, why don’t you do at your home in your own safety?

Gulf Diaries-Part 1

Many of us live inside a well protected cocoon. We live a mechanical life, making sure the shell around us doesn’t break off and we adapt ourselves to the habitat in the best possible manner. But many a times I feel variety is the essence of life. We meet a lot of new faces in the path of life,we interact ,we learn and we move with them making us feel they are indeed those characters meant to come and act and make our story the most interesting one.
When I came to Abu Dhabi the only arabic I could talk was 'Aslam alaykum' but now I realise if I couldnt speak Malayalam I would have been in trouble
Abu Dhabi has been a lucky place for me so far. I have made some beautiful decisions and luck did favor me. Career wise I might not have improved or learnt much in the span of 2 years, But I should say I did surpass the learning curve quiet well with need of the hour.
More than anything I am happy I spent few years in the ‘Gulf’ which has taught me a lot about the culture of both the residents and expats here. It was indeed an experience to live alone and still make yourself feel that you are just one among thousands of people staying alone earning a living. Minting money is what people associate the Gulf NRIs. Unlike the NRIs settled in North America and Europe you find that an ordinary person without much education is building a palace in his hometown. Many of the Indian expats here believe that their sole purpose in life is building a colossal bungalow back in their hometown. You see almost all the money exchanges are crowded almost any time of the month. I wonder is it just because the banks here don’t offer an interest rate or is it because people here indeed have surplus money to send home?
People here are like a group of people who happen to jump out of the time machine running in their home and happen to join the time machine only at their so called and much precious Annual vacations. Those with families here nurture their children with all that they can and pamper then with all the electronic gadgets and give them the international education thinking they would stand out in the crowd. But it is quiet disheartening to see that children here are brought up feeding in the junk and is spoilt to an extend that they are not even self sufficient. Most parents here I have seen even drop their children to their schools, tuition classes and other extracurricular classes when those are places which the boy/girl can just walk in 10 min. Today they have cell phones and what not for communication, but 20 years back when nothing was there, I used to walk to my school which was almost 2km from my home. I want to believe things are still the same in India. We used to go to shops to get things for our mothers, used to do little bit of household stuff, used to wash cars. But surprisingly I don’t see the kids here do anything at all.By merely taking them to music classes and karate classes are we doing justice to their growth.?Should we blame the technology, parents or this generation? Or is the fact that the world is not safe anymore to leave 10 year old boy/girl at home alone. Taking them to public speaking classes wont do much when they have to learn social interactions sparing their play station games.
Unlike other countries, I feel that the women especially Indians don’t prefer to work here. Many doctors, engineers and other professionals are merely being home makers. I find it very hard to accept that after working hard and spending some good years in professional course many ladies are merely concentrating on teaching their kids and doing projects and homework on their behalf.When it is exam time it is the moms who are worried and tensed, not the kids. The projects are done by the mothers and they compete with other moms. It seems event the schools know that these projects are done by parents. I am not debating on the decision for ladies to stay back and look after their kids, but I wonder at the end of the day, do we really feel satisfied doing the household?

To be Continued

Rat Race

I still remember the 'Mourning' we had at home when my entrance result came out.My amma was expecting her daughter to get hold of a two digit rank,but unfortunately she ended up in a 3 digit rank.A rank less than 500 was considered to be above average for most except for some academicians who eat sleep and live 'Engineering'.Being a daughter of a Professor of a reputed Institute was indeed taxing.Though my amma used to talk about non engineering careers,I am pretty sure she wouldnt have been happy if her daughter had chosen another profession.Succumbing to my deep attachment to my amma and my home,I decided to chose a branch which was considered not so 'attractive' in one of the premier Institutes of the country when i had the option of getting a circuit branch in the best state engineering college.I dont know if I took a bad decision at 18 years of age seeing the hype of college ranking and brand value.But it seemed to be a bad decision on monetory terms when you are one of the top rankers but you dont get high paying jobs like the other circuit branches.I was quiet disapointed when I see the entire strength in so called circuit branches sweeped by MNC offering hefty packages which you cant dream in your branch(I guess I should admit that the non attractive branch is Civil Engineering)
After deciding to do my masters in a reputed University abroad I didnt have much luck with a job,Thanks to Recession of 2008.Inspite of many advising me to take up a job in IT,I was not ready to leave my 6 years of education.Finally I ended up in a corner of the earht where the 'not so attractive branch' is the most attractive branch.I see circuit branch people struggling to find a decent job in Middle East.But then it puts me to thought.Doest all the rat race in the entrance really matter in life?Mebbe taking up a circuit branch would have been a better decision.It might be a idiotic conclusion.But one sure bet for those who do not have an aversion for IT can easily get a IT from any college,join a MNC see the world in somebody else's expense.
But if we had a little more discretion about the what to chose as a career,I would have been happily blaming myself for the career path.But then back then it was the peer pressure.I am sure atleast the present generation should be free from the entrance mad race.Be what you will be Proud of.Choose a profession which is equivalent to your passion.I hope when I become a parent I dont get carried away by the social trends..After almost 10 years of writing entrance I feel that the tension,the stress and the pressure was all for some kind of a oasis which kept moving away from you..There was a hope in our young minds that once you clear the 'Entrance' you can live happily ever after.But then it is just an 'EXIT' from all the secured and tension free life under your parents.The real Rat race is yet to begin.

Pre Wedding Updates

Behind the creation of this blog,there was this small hidden agenda.It was sort of an escapism or rather a venting out my frustrations against my reluctance to enter a marriage or relationship.The reason that time was that I still was on look out for a ‘Prince Charming’ who would come in that white horse and be a saviour and shower me with lot of happiness.Almost four years after I started dreaming I am all set to take a ride on the horse with my handsome Prince.
I guess I feel a ‘Cold Feet’ now.We happen to be two individuals who were kinda bored of their regular routine and decided to find a friendship in a stranger who they considered as a backup life partner if they don't happen to find anybody worthy enough.Backups later turned to a necessity for future and decided to go ahead with a life long commitment.
This is the story of a geeky scientist and a story teller who happens to be in two deserts on extremities of earth.
Just hardly a month for our marriage,not knowing when we can start a life together on the same corner of earth,here we are on the verge of a so called turning point.
Both of us are quiet busy inviting our friends and doing our pre wedding shopping,little do we have planned our future but the two weeks we are going to be together.I wonder if changing ur marital status might affect my social circles or friendships.But it comes with a lot of responsibility to each other and our families.Its gonna be a rock climbing.Certain stations we take a break and breath and refresh and resume the climb.Hope the rocks are supportive,ropes are strong and we have a lot of fun together in reaching our destination.I hope to update my blog ‘From a Wife’s point of View’...

The 'Mallu' Accent

I spent 20 years in Mallu land and little did I know then that I would be ridiculed for my accent rest of my life.It was when I flew to US,I got the first slap on my face for my accent.Thankfully since all Americans think that most Indians have a common accent,I was saved from any kind of humiliation from them.It was the so called 'Indians' from other states who had a BIG issue with my accent.Initially It was very hard for me to understand what made my accent stand out from normal Indian accent,a lot of bullying and ridiculing by close friends and acquaintances made me realise I indeed had a "Mallu Accent".I consciously made an effort to distiguish 'Rose' & 'Ross',but alas I realised it was just in my blood.I comforted myself saying accent is not a big deal in life.
But the irony is that like there is an 'American' accent and 'British' accent,I too can make out where someone is from from his/her accent,But neither me or my fellow mallus I know make a fun of their accents.But whats the big deal with the Mallu accent alone?I belive an accent cant be a disturbance or a reason for irritation for anyone.Chineese,Koreans,name any region,they have their own way of talking English,But when a mallu like me utter a few words,its always a reason for humiliation.
After my tenure in US,when I shifted to 'Gelf' where its all about mallu,honestly I too wished at times there was a little less mallu people around here.90% of my colleagues are also mallus so luckily I never had an issue with my accent until this 'Bombay' raised south Indian came to my team.For the past few days I have been watching him deliberatly ridiculing certain words,When I tried to be polite and made him understand I do realise that I have a mallu accent,he just couldnt stop with it.Its a common trend seen these days.They just dont realise they too have a regional accent,but belives its just that Mallus who have an accent.
I am not someone who tries to adapt to forgein accent just coz I spent some years abroad.All I did was to bit slow down when I talked to those people there,When they could understand me well,whats with my fellow Indians.Its not about understanding a conversation,its just some other weird.I just wrote this as I was humiliated a lot for my accent.I just cant go back to my school to those lovely teachers for not correcting my accent..Is it really Important in Life??Speaking proper language matters,but I guess its all about a 'Non Mallu' accent that really matters to people.Indians are the most racists people I guess,we are divided based on the region and religion,even if we choose not to,such silly 'accents' make u feel that you are not an Indian but a 'Mallu'...C'mon people just grow up!
(I Hope there was nothing malluish in my writing...)

A Tooth Brush Cliche

I still have this huge fascination for 'buy one get one free'.Recently I stumbled upon a deal where I would get a toothbrush free with a toothbrush.Since I was looking for both,I jumped on the offer since it was also mentioned that the brush was some special 'all in one' tooth brush.Before going to bed that day,I decided to try this new brush.To my horror I kinda felt that the head of the brush was broken into two pieces inside my mouth.I took it out to examine if it was the problem with my new brush or my teeth which has been cursed with dental correction since childhood.To my amusement I found that this special brush had this rubber base which acts like a divider as if it is almost about to break into two pieces.I continued my brushing with this amusing brush and almost felt as if some weird piece of crap was hitting my gum and teeth.(I would want to write about the throw up I had after this.It is left to the imagination of the reader)
I am wondering where technology is rushing to.They are even making a simple tooth brush complex.I would be really happy with a standstill brush which I am used to since childhood.Maybe I am not tech savy or is reluctant to adapt myself with the latest technologies and gadget.But why would a tooth brush be so complex and weird?Is this part of tooth brush evolution?Alas I still use this new technology brush to make myself happy about the price I paid for the deal.I would definitively look for a brush which says 'Normal' next time.

NB: My teeth doesn't seem to be whitened as claimed in the cover of the tooth brush

Generation Gap..

When I was a kid,My grandpa used to tell me that he believed in Simple Living and High thinking.Little did I appreciate then about the philosophical outlook of his.But at a age we were madly demanding stuff from our parents and busy competing with peers on the value of the those tiny gadgets and stuffs which we carried to school,the sayings of great men never had a real impact.
Fortunately my mother never pampered me with the luxuries of life as she too believed that a good education and good values was what we would always carry with us.I still remember that for every new thing I demand,she used to keep an academic constrain.So only if I did well in exams,I used to get what I wanted.Though I never appreciated such practices.
But lately I feel that my bringing up has helped me appreciate non materialistic values much more than materialistic love.Not that I am someone who completely detest materialistic gifts.I am infact someone who loves getting gifts from others.But I would say our generation was much better off in appreciating the deed of a gift not the value of the gift.
I see around kids pampered by all sort of gifts and gadgets and their demanding nature is evolving into a strange gene of selfishness and greediness.Infact It is very difficult to satisfy kids these days.They judge people based on the brand value of gifts and the value of gifts.
Infact there is no innocence in them which make us adore them.The matured talks,the complex thinking doesnt make them kids.I sometimes look for the kid in them,but I fail to see them.Maturity beyond age in disastrous to an extend,But many parents are proud about it.Mebbe this is part of evolution..
The true joy of happiness and satisfaction is missing somewhere.
Mebbe I should evolve my outlook to understand and appreciate the new generation demands..But I always end up searching for my childhood memories in this complex web....

Treasure Hunt

Like many others,I too am eagerly looking forward for the answer of that Million or rather the Billion Doller Question. Who owns the 22 Billion $ found in the Sree Padmanabhaswamy Temple in Kerala.
I have been to that temple couple of times, have admired the architecture and the serenity of the temple, little did I know some years down the Line this would be a world famous after a Treasure Hunt. Kerala yet again proved that it is indeed ‘God’s own Country’.
The Temple which had hardly a dozen security personnel is now thronged by security, media and curious Public. The recent decision of Supreme Court not to open the last vault which is believed to have an equally valuable set of precious stones.Its indeed a very prudent decision made by the Chief Minister that the State is not going to Claim the Wealth. The Royal Head himself has made a statement that he or anybody in the family is going to claim it.In this era of selfishness and mad race for money, it should be well appreciated and acknowledged
There is this discussion about the wealth to be utilized for Public education, healthcare and general upliftment of people.Is it really practical to implement this in our corrupt political system.?Do you think this wealth is something that should be sold in the market and bid for?All these generations it has been safeguarded by the Royal family and one fine morning it should be used for Public Welfare.I am well aware about the poverty of our country, the needs of people. But I don’t think we have a false proof system to properly utilize this wealth.But then the question arises whether we should keep this wealth idle?Mebbe yes! Why not a Museum,so that the the present generation should know what India was before the Brisitsh looted us.Many of us have a psychological feeling India is a Poor nation and we have nothing much to be proud of.But some pleasant surprises proving our rich past is indeed a moral boost for the present generation to thrive ourselves back to that splendid era of Prosperity of our Nation.
Lets wait and see what would happen to this Treasure.Will it just vanish in the air?

A walk to Remember!

I moved my lips for that one word
the word that rolls back into time
I swallowed the warmth that rose
to set a fire in my soul
I see you in dreams everyday
wish I never woke up to feel the real
closing my eyes I freeze the timeline
walking back to make those thorns blunt
A caress to skip a heartbeat
crumbling in the wave of thoughts
I fear to embrace the blossoms of spring
knocking on my frozen door this..
snow weakening itself to the warmth of love
I close my eyes in fear to see the blossoms
moving my feet for a small step outside
wishing the doors shuts the past behind
Tickles of the petals and leaves made me smile
years of coldness washed away to bliss,,

Judgements!

I am proud of being a Woman.I enjoy and detest womanhood at the same time.I am not a Feminist,But once upon a time I believed I was.That was the time I belived most of the men are just hypocrites.In course of my maturity growth,I happened to find some important 'men' in my life which made me realise that it is absurd to categorize people good or bad based on their gender,When woman talk about their rights,their representation,their security,their growth,the message spread around is that woman are some sort of inferior beings fighting for their representation.But I totally cannot agree to this mad rush as I believe women who fights for equality with men lacks ambition.
I recently came across an interview with Shiney Ahuja's wife.I am not anyone to judge whether he was guilty or not.But like the mass public to an extend I too belived he might have been guilty.But now I feel that like many cases,the law might have been biased.Just because a girl claims,should we all belive he is Guilty?I believe that its high time we stop sympathizing and be prudent in judging a person or situation.Even in personal and professional circle,I have come across many who tries to threaten to defame fellow men just to get things done..
Well,on the other side we see those men who are like mad animals destroying innocent lives at their own convenience.Its disheartening to read about Child molestation and those cruel rapes.I wonder why I never hear women doing such crimes.Is it the biology?
Recently I came across an article where a man was caught 'raping' a dead woman?What is that we lack in our moral behaviour that people are making themselves Psychos?
May be it is this public image of man which is giving the Women an upperhand in many cases and situations.
But it is a fact that society is a mixture of sesible and few senseless people.Let be rational and think about the social happenings with an open mind.Let us be Prudent in any judgement we make.May be the judiciary can fail based on evidences,But not our conscience :)

Hum-Tum

Girls and Mood Swings!Quiet a debatable topic.Whenever I pick up a fight with my BF or be emotional,He asks me "Are you PMSing?".Well most of the times thats the truth.Sometimes we girls just cry for no reason,feels annoyed for no reason and even feels to be loved and cared for no reason.I might be pretty weak in biological reasoning to establish the correlation.But me and most of my girlfriends just blame it on 'Hormones'.
Its indeed a saviour to many of the silly things we do.I sometimes wonder if the guys ever blame their anger on their Hormones?Nope it is just about being a Male.They can afford to be the 'evil' self anytime,and is actually being respected by all.Well I might be sounding a bit Feminist by saying this.But the truth is Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus!
Being a typical cancerian,I hate to admit that I kinda keep a track on all dates."Anniversaries,Birthdays,first day of this and that,6 month anniversary-10 month anniversary what not.Unfortunately my boyfriend has a very poor memory and sometimes even forgets his own birthday!Initialy I thought I would keep bugging him and make him remember all those silly dates.For this I tried an emotional blackmailing tactics and the poor thing decided to mug up the long list of dates.But alas ,the end result was quiet funny.Those days when he calls me and I am in cranky Mood,He asks "Shit!Is it our anniversary today? "(even if its just one month after our real one ).So I gave up the task and decided on setting up a reminder system so that he is reminded of all the dates in advance so that neither I feel sad that he forgot the day and I might even get a gift ..:P
I am sure most of the girls could relate to this,But then I feel this difference is the true essence in the relationship.We compliment each other.I like being the opposites,there is always a sense of attraction to each other..Its indeed an excellent modeling God has made.Emotional differences between males and females.The irony is that though every single one of us is different from each other,emotionaly its very easy to classify based on gender!