Best time to give a little thought to ‘About me; is when we travel, I just love the time when I get to myself on my way to work. I tune into my favorite FM Channel and listen to their classic breakfast show. Then comes the fun part, People generally have a notion such a ‘self’ space is very dangerous. But I believe it’s nice to have a thought about your past and you’re present. I don’t want to call it’s a retrospection as that term has a lot of guilt associated with it. Apart from regrets, there are many small things which you yourself ignored which can make you proud and put a smile upon your face.
Last day I happened to see the latest building wonder.’ The Burj Kahalifa’.Buildings these days symbolizes the attitude of people. Everybody wants to rise so high, but their mind set is so narrow, The narrow pencil like structure might be architecture marvel, But to me it just symbolized a structure trying to prove ‘You can’t beat me’.
I got to learn some interesting facts about the mallus out here. They starve; they save every single ‘dirham’ and wire it back home. It’s interesting to note that most people here have a ‘sharing accommodation’. Its if a flat/house has three bedrooms and a drawing room, there will be 4 families staying in that house with a common kitchen and a bathroom. I was shocked to see even an average income guy would prefer living this way with his family coz that is the best way to save money. At the end of the day, everybody wants to have a huge bank balance back home. I sometimes wonder how long they can keep doing this. Is our ultimate motto in life is have a huge savings when we retire or to have a satisfactory life till we retire? My house owner once told me(who is earning a huge amount every month making 3 other families stay at his house), I live like a laborer here and I live like a king in my house back home. His ‘King’ role comes once in a year, But is it worth all the pain and compromises to have a royal stay once in a year. Well each one of us has a different outlook towards life. We have a different mission and vision, but I guess I would like to live life to the fullest today like I will die tomorrow.
Mindless Mosaics
A word!
Holding your hands and closing my eyes
I could see all those buds waiting to blossom
the smell of the new season and air of warmth
Hurting my hands I felt your fingers moving away
I tried to wake up from the dream to stop you
You walked away faster than my heart beats
Hurting my eyes,I woke up to stop you
I see the remains of the fall.
My steps retracing those sand writings
I smiled to myself trying to wash it away with my tears
Where the dreams come true?
Life is full of surprises!You enjoy certain surprises and certain you fail to be 'Surprised'.Sitting in the flight to Abudhabi,I failed to be 'Surprised'.I just wanted to see where this 'Life flight' would take me.I smiled at myself for those notions I had about myself,my career and my so called surprise filled 'Life'.I looked around to find many faces with a 'hope' or rather I could see they were all carrying a dream.A dream of survival.I didnt have any dream or a hope.I was still running away from a lot of things.I wanted to stop and look at myself and answer those questions inside me.But all that came out of me was a 'Sigh'.A sigh to look ahead and wait for more surprises,beat the recession,learn to be a good fighter.I was shocked at the way people at the immigration treat the females who fly to Middle east.I was asked a hell lot of questions and had to show all my degree certificates at the Calicut Airport.The lady at the immigration sounded as if I am some maid trying to migrate there.I was really upset the way females were treated even if they have proper documents especially by a lady officer.I just couldnt stop myself frm telling her 'Please do not see everybody with the same eyes'.I dont understand the reason why the asked me a hell lot of silly questions when my employment visa had a 'Civil Engineer' clearly stated on it.
Gulf!Where the dreams come true...
Today I see how certain dreams come true.Here in this part of the world everybody has a story to tell.Why they are here!There is only one thing common to all those people who come here.Some day or the other they all want to go back home..
Its just been a few weeks here.But I realized I am blessed to be sitting in a bed under a roof with a laptop in front of me.I have no idea if my writing would help those people to understand the plight of thousands of people in this part of the world who work day and night for a living.Buses with these laborers with their heads down is a common sight here.I wonder what gives them the strength to survive in this scorching heat and those pathetic labor camps?I wonder if their dear ones back home can ever give them the true appreciation..
To be Continued
Once upon a time...
There were a lot of things which were a part of us and our routine,but cease to even flash in our minds.Last day I saw couple of school kids waiting for their school van.Certain things which were so much part of my childhood just flashed through my mind.I am not sure if everybody can relate to this,But I would like to scribble a few fond memories I had in my school life
1.Exam time :We used to have half day exams thrice a year.I loved exam time as I could be back home for lunch and watch all the TV Programs which I used to miss otherwise.During exams we never carry our backpacks,it was always those big 'textile plastic covers' to carry the pencil box and the writing pad.I used to keep the good ones under the bed exclusively for exam time.We used to compare the covers in class and always wanted our cover to look the best :).I still remember the time I got the 'paper bag' for the first time.I saved it for the annual exam and made sure it was safe and away from the hands of my mother.
2.Name slip.I was crazy about nameslips.Before the school starts it was a custom that me and my amma sit together and cover all the notebooks and textbooks with the plastic coated brown covers.I used to adore the special white colored ones my classmates used to bring which was available only abroad.Nameslip was a status symbol too.I never used to stick those nameslips you get for free from shops,But always wanted the glitter cartoon ones.I still remember me telling someone that my biggest wish in my life is to get 1000 nameslips from God.
3.Lunch time.I was/still a slow eater.There were only a few dayscholars in our class.But we all used to sit together and discuss everything for lunch.We always waited to see what was inside our friend's lunch box.Then comes the sharing part.I miss those lunch sessions when we could take anything from anybody's lunchbox which tastes 1000 times better than what was in our lunch box.
Lot more to write,But I guess space is not enough.In a nutshell I miss my school days.Innocent days,innocent dreams and innocent minds.Wish I never grew up :)
Treasure Hunt
I was wondering what would make me get an admission in Wharton school even if I have a full GMAT score?To make it more simple how do I stand out from others?This question has been haunting me for the past couple of months.I have been thinking what would make me different?How will I leave a mark on this globe?.How can I make my life meaningful?Most of the people I come across lead a mechanical life.They have temporary goals and most have them try to make a difference to their dear ones.Many of us are really not bothered.We feel a common person like us can never stand out in this crowd.But I guess its worth thinking once in a while 'What makes me different'?Being a jack of all trades never takes you anywhere,You have to be a master,A master of your soul and also that special 'thing' which makes you glitter much more than those zillion stars around us.I wonder when would other stars smile at me?I am still wondering what is that unique gift God has hidden in me.Discovering that would be the greatest treasure hunt for each one of us :).Its never late.Let us all think at least for a second.What is that hidden treasure which would help us leave a mark ?Lets make a difference to someone if not everyone. :)
Echoes!
Those shadows surrounded me
I tried to wake up my dream
my crippled eyes kept me in darkness
I cried aloud to wake you up
I heard your footsteps walking away
My words cease to make you smile
tears could wash away my mistakes
Rhythm hugging my passion
Can you stop to listen to my words?
Embrace it when you miss your steps
turn around to see me waiting;
Colors fade to bring the new sky
I see you in those buds to blossom
Holding back everything I owe you
I express in my silence and my blind dreams
Just for me!
PS:Not edited!
A true victim of recession.Sigh!I hate to admit that.But I still wonder why ME?I am sick of all the motivating and optimistic and spiritual lectures I get to hear everyday.But I frankly regret to have done so well in my studies since school.Inspite of reading biographies of people who did a lot of hardwork to make it big,I really dont know why I still have a lot of expectations about my career.I find it hard to compromise.I know this is a bad time to be choosy,But today I feel even if I give away my dreams and ambitions,its hard for me to find a job.
I had a terrible experience when I decided to try my hand in teaching.I thought it would be a good idea to go teach in an Engineering college rather than sitting at home and wait for the 'VISA' which seems to be a illusion! On my first day to college,I was shocked to see the number of private engineering college buses in the stand.Students dressed in uniforms,It was hard for me to comprehend the fact that they were engineering students.Engineering has just become an extension of 12 std.The college was no different from a school.I felt bad about myself coming back to such an environment.But I used to love teaching and I felt it was a good service.But unfortunately the class turned out to be another shock.It was hard to believe they cleared the entrance examination because most of them didnt know even the basic geometry.But the worst part was the attitude of the students.Students behaved to me as if I am some random girl they met in some park .Forget about showing a little respect,they were throwing offensive words on me.My pride just couldn't let me continue there.I found it funny when they asked me'Teacher,Why did you come to teach in a college like this even after doing your MS from US,Didnt you get any other job'.I was heartbroken.I realized how much ever we try for certain things,most of the things are out of our control.
I wish I had lesser pride,lesser expectations out of life.But sometime I think ;Have I not sacrificed enough to have to have little happiness or rather not to be in an 'unhappy' state?
